Minnesota Today

Four things involving MN sports teams happened today or will be happening. I thought I’d touch on them with some help from my fellow writers on the last one. This probably should have been out earlier, so I apologize.

Topics are: 1) Gophers Men’s B-ball at home against Illinois. 2) Wild at Edmonton. 3) Viking Kenechi Udeze has been diagnosed with leukemia. 4) Twins sign Pitcher Livan Hernandez.

Gophers Men’s B-ball at home against Illinois


A must win if they want any chance at making March Madness and having this team be the surprise team of the nation. If they make the tourney, doesn’t Tubby have to be up for coach of the year? Nine wins last year! Like I said in my stew earlier, they need to win five out of eight to make this even a possibility. Taking care of this home game is a must. I fully expect a W also. Illinois is coming off an emotional double overtime loss against Indiana where they spent a ton of energy trying to spoil Eric Gordon’s arrival to Illinois for the first time. I think the boys take care of them tonight. Hoffarber with four three’s and McKenzie with a good overall game is my prediction.

Wild at Edmonton


If you know nothing about what the Wild are doing this season, here’s a recap: They are first in their division and currently hold the third spot in the playoffs. They also still have 10 guys no one has heard of or can pronounce. The one problem with them that I’m noticing is that they aren’t beating a whole lot of the elite teams in the league. They’ve knocked off only a slight margin of these types of teams. They also play in a weaker division, which helps. Like Q said last night: “My life will revolve around Wild games once the playoffs start.” It’s so true with us. We don’t write about them because we really don’t know a lot about hockey. We don’t want to be frauds. Once playoffs roll around it’s a different story my friends. It’s waking up saying: “Game day!” The writers at TKOT will be taking turns driving the Wild playoff bandwagon. Hop on…

Kenechi Udeze has been diagnosed with leukemia


A horrible story. We don’t have a lot of information yet on the details because the Vikings are wisely respecting Kenechi’s privacy. It always throws you for a loop when you read things like this. He’s 24 years old! Doesn’t seem right. We can all hope he gets through this and beats this thing. Sports don’t mean much when you hear stories like Kenechi’s.

The Twins just signed Livan Hernandez to a 1-year deal around 5 million.


This was kind of an impromptu Roundtable. It was done like a conference call. We all dialed up and talked about the recent signing of Livan. I brought in a stenographer to record the substantial words that were said. Here’s the transcript that the lady with the 80’s fro wrote down:

Dogg: If this is for real, I like it a lot. He's like Silva but we only have obligation for one year. Lets roll!!!

Fuzz: I hate it. We aren't going to win the division this year with this guy. We just wasted $5 million on a guy that is going to take away innings from younger guys that need to develop.

Dogg: Why aren’t we going to win the division? I think we are taking this division by 10 games this year. Delmon Young is the AL MVP this year!!

Fuzz: With Detroit adding Cabrera and Willis? And us losing Santana & Hunter? What are you smoking?

Dogg: Willis can suck a D for all I care. He’ll get torched in the AL. Cabrera will gain 30 more LBS and be overrated. It’s the Tigers!!! They won’t win shit.

Fuzz: The Tigers went to the World Series two years ago and Cleveland won the division last year. Livan doesn't push us over the edge...

Dogg: He doesn’t push us over the top but he helps us…A LOT. Plus with all his postseason experience he’ll be prepared to challenge any team come that time.

Fuzz: We aren’t making playoffs so his playoff experience doesn’t mean rip to me.

Q: I actually don't mind the signing. I know it's more money than he probably deserves, but I think he still has something left in the tank (unlike Ponson and Ortiz last year). Plus, we're rebuilding now, not going for a division title. I realize that we need to get our young arms as much work as possible to see what they have, but you also have to realize that young pitchers tend to get rocked more often. As a result, your bullpen gets tired more quickly and then there are a ton of problems. Having one guy (Livan) that can eat innings and give your pen the occasional rest is a good thing in my mind.

Dogg: Like I previously mentioned, there is obviously something we don’t see with some of these young arms we have. The coaching staff sees something we don’t with several pitchers who we think have potential. Whether it be Perkins, Blackburn, Slowey, Boof, Baker, etc. Something tells me that half the young arms we think have potential don’t really have any.

Q: That's definitely a possibility. Or, with Liriano likely starting in AAA and Baker/Bonser tied for the team lead with 48 career starts, maybe they just decided to get one veteran arm in the rotation and let the other 2 spots rotate among the unproven young guys (Perkins, Slowey, Blackburn, etc.) until someone proves they are worth it. If more than one of those guys pitches well, it wouldn't surprise me to see Livan go to the pen or come down with an "arm injury" at some point. Hell, we might even move him at the deadline if he's pitching well.


Dogg: How about we put him at DH? If my memory serves me right, he’s a good hitter. $5M these days is like a box of sunflower seeds in the 90’s. Honestly, everybody makes millions in the league these days.

Fuzz: Fine, fuck you both. This is an awesome signing. Notice the sarcasm? It's there. I don't get signing a guy for one year. We're not winning the division with him so why pay $5 million to eat up innings so the young guys don't get killed so much? I don't get it. Throw the kids out there and see who survives. They'll be better off next year in this route.

Q: Because there is no reason to shatter the confidence of these young guys. Plus, what sense does it make to wear out your bullpen, possibly causing long term arm troubles? I know we need to make this youth movement, but you need to have one guy that is reliable to pitch into the 6th or 7th inning every time he goes out. We had that with Santana, but nothing until now. All of those other guys will get plenty of innings. I don't see the problem with this signing. We have a payroll under $50 million and it's only a one year deal. Plus we've shown that we have no problem demoting or releasing these guys if need be. It makes far less sense to come into a season with 5 starters who all have fewer than 50 career starts. At least Livan is a better option than Josh Fogg.

Dogg: Like I said, they obviously don’t have faith in some of these young kids and you need at least one guy you can count on to go 5+ innings each night otherwise like Q said, our pen will get destroyed. $5M is nothing for a pitcher like him and we weren’t going to use that $5M on anybody else anyways so lets roll. Maybe they think we can win the division and I’m starting to believe as well. Mauer, Morneau, Cuddyer, Young, Harris are all young and getting better. This might be the year we have a few guys have career years and we roll. We have enough talent in our lineup but the pitching has to hold its end of the bargain. Hernandez will hold his end up and give us 200+ innings.

Fuzz: We should probably start scoping out our victory parade seats now, don't you think? Make sure we have the best seat in the house when Livan & company are yelling out: "No one believed in us!" Whatever.

Dogg: I am going to live and die with the Twins this year fellas because I think this Delmon Young kid is absolutely the real deal. I only saw him via highlights but he’s a 5- tool player who’s going to mature here in MN. Playing with other young and proven players like Morneau and Mauer, he’s going to be a top 5 outfielder in the AL. I wouldn’t be one bit surprised if he makes the all-star game this year.

Q: Hey Fuzz, Dogg is the one putting in an advanced order at twins.com for his '08 Divisional Champions shirt and hat. All I'm saying is that the signing makes sense both because it's a guy who can save our bullpen a little and because we are spending so little money overall that the cost doesn't bother me. If you want to talk about a waste of money, we can talk about Craig Monroe. But that's another story entirely...

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Fuzz's Stew

Five out of eight…

If the Gopher basketball team has that record in the last eight games we are tourney bound. Yes, if the no talent ass clowns that Monson recruited win five more games, I think they are in. I’m not piss drunk either right now. It’s a Sunday afternoon and I mean this. It should be noted they would need to win at least one or maybe even two games in the Big Ten tourney. Not a tall task if you win five out of eight because your seed will be higher. I still can’t believe I just wrote that last paragraph but I think it’s possible.

The last eight games look like this: Illinois, at Wisconsin, Michigan, Penn State, at Purdue, Ohio State, at Indiana and at Illinois.

Four home games and four road games. The four home games have a combined record of 43-50. On the raised home court, they should win these all. No excuse not to with the Barn back to a packed house. The Barn advantage has come back with the college students lit up yelling obscenities at opposing players. They haven’t beaten any really good teams but they haven’t slipped to any team worse than them either. No quality wins but no bad losses either. Illinois, Michigan, Penn State and even Ohio State at home should all be wins. That puts them at 19 wins. Now the road games…


Since they didn’t win one game in the home stretch of Indiana, Michigan State and Wisconsin, they need to a quality win on the road. At Wisconsin is a loss. Bo Ryan is an “unimpressive” 51-3 at home since he took over the job. I don’t see the likes of Spence, Coleman, McKenzie and company winning this game. I know, I know, I should be more optimistic but I’m not. The next road game is at Purdue. This is the game they need to win. Purdue is 10-1 in the conference and will be ranked this week so this would be a good win. They can win this game. If they can’t do that, they need to win at Indiana. Indiana is a lot more talented than we are and a win there would be short of a miracle. The last one is at Illinois who is 10-14 right now and is an easily winnable game. However, if they lose the three before this, this road win won’t matter. They’ll still win the 5/8 but they won’t have one quality win on the whole schedule. That doesn’t get you in.

The question on your mind is probably: Are they good enough to do this? It’s a legit question. Sometimes you feel that you’re watching a junior high team. They’ve looked good against the bad teams, hung with a couple good teams but also have looked really shitty against good teams as well. They haven’t gave us a win that says they belong in March Madness. However, the last two games have told me something---they are getting better. The rotation is down to eight guys and the two freshmen---Hoffarber & Nolen---are playing well. Hoffarber is a smart basketball player with a killer shot and Al Nolen is intriguing. He leads the Big Ten in steals per game and breaks down defenses with his speed. I have to give credit to program killer Monson on these two guys; they are going to be solid.


If you’re into stats, here’s where the stand on a few: Third in the Big Ten in scoring offense and field goal shooting. First in the Big Ten in three point shooting and steals. Those are the good wins and I’m going to refrain in mentioning the bad ones because I’m a homer. They involve free throw shooting and rebounds if you need to know.

So, the five out of eight isn’t as cut & dry as I may have stated early, but they can do this. You win your four home games and one against Wisconsin, Purdue or Indiana and a Big Ten tourney win, we’ll be dancing. That scenario will put them at 21-11. 21 wins with Tubby as your coach puts you in.

How fun would it be to be back in the tourney?

P.S. If this column looks familiar, I wrote one about three weeks ago about the same thing but from the other side saying we were done and had no chance. Yep, I’m flipping it like a bad politician. I don’t care. The play from the dominant center SpenceDog Tollackson has inspired me to switch my position. From banking free throws to creepy, possessed looks into the stands by SpenceDog has turned me. Kidding. To be honest, I wrote the whole damn thing and forgot I did this three weeks ago. That's what turning 27 does to you.

P.S.S. Anyone want to write a “Voices from a Stranger” column this week? Let us know.

Five other college basketball ingredients:

Tell me you guys saw this the other night:

Meet Louisville head coach Colonel Sanders.

Did anyone see the dicey situation between Illinois and Indiana this week? If you don’t know the story, Eric Gordon verbally committed to Illinois but changed his mind to Indiana. Well, the Illinois folks didn’t like that since Eric Gordon is program changer. After watching it I truly believe Illinois should be penalized somehow. It was so ridiculous the punishment Gordon went through. It started with a purposeful hard chest bump at the beginning and Gordon was grabbed, pushed and hit the whole game. I couldn’t believe they were getting away with some of the cheap shots they pulled. Just because a 18 year old kid changed his mind?

Most people know my love for Duke but I still think Kansas is the best team in the land. They only have one loss and have everything you need to win in the playoffs. Good guard play, good rebounding, experience, depth and balance. They have five guys that average over 10 points a game. Collins is at 9.8 so I’m including him. I like them the best heading into the tourney.


Since I’m really good at predictions (wink, wink), I have another one for you. I think Memphis loses once in the next three games. I even have a wager with Q on this who put his hand out faster than anyone I’ve ever seen. Call it a hunch but I feel it.

A few good games to watch this week: Monday- Kansas at Texas. A big game for both teams. Kansas could solidify themselves as a championship threat with a win if people aren’t convinced already and Texas could open people’s eyes as a sleeper in the same category. Wisconsin at Indiana on Wednesday. The cream of the Big Ten going head to head. Expect a 45-42 game. Finally, Pittsburgh at Marquette on Friday. A must win for our home away from home team. A must win!

Out,
Fuzz

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10 random thoughts

Q read my mind. I knew we were lacking on the writing this week and we didn't have anything planned so I put together 10 quick random things. I just wanted to get something up here before the hate mail started pouring in. 10 thoughts on this Thursday afternoon...

I can’t give you a good reason how Spencer Tollackson went 7-7 from the field and perfect from the line in the win over Northwestern. Was he on some sort of drug? Probably. A drug that turned him from a horseshit Big Ten post player to someone who pulls a Bill Walton on us. No idea how this was even possible. Either it was the drugs or Northwestern watched game film and said: “Leave him open.”

Everyone see that Duke win? Ok, moving on...


Santana said in the papers this week: “I have no hard feelings against the Minnesota Twins.” Fuck off Johan. No shit you don’t. You just signed the richest contract for a pitcher in the history of the game and you pretty much forced it to get done on your timeline. If the reports were correct that we offered 5/$100 million and he shot that down, we really had no hope to sign him at all. He wanted out no matter what. Good riddance you fuckwad.

Shaq to the Suns for Marion and Banks. This trade blows my mind. Can Shaq still get from one baseline to the next baseline in under seven minutes? I really have no idea. I think Shaq should race Dick Bavetta like Chuck Barkley did in the All-star game a few years back and if he can’t beat him, the trade is null.


NFL Live was on last night and for some reason this made TKOT very unhappy. Football needs to go away for a while. I always feel that way after a long sports season, especially football. They had David Tryee on. The guy who caught the football on his head. Four days later, they are still rehashing the Superbowl! I love football but please go away. Oh yeah, this didn’t stop us from turning the channel either. We sat through it and bitched the whole time. We’re idiots.

What’s the over/under when Brittney Spears dies? I’m putting it at 14 months before she bites the dust.


Speaking of football, you can bet on the Pro Bowl. Does anyone really do this? Sports gambling in general is a crapshoot, but the flipping Pro Bowl? Come on. How can you justify putting more than five dollars on this game? Off the gambling thought for a second, the Pro Bowl is by far the worst sports all-star game out of the major sports. It’s not even close.

The Wild are first in their division and seem to be playing well. That’s about the extent of my knowledge of the team. If we make playoffs and make a run, you won’t find a bigger fan than me. I’m that guy. Anyone want to write a “Voices from a Stranger” column on them? We would welcome it!


Tim “human promotion” Brewster has a pretty solid class coming in next year in his first full year of recruiting. They are any where from 16 to 25 in rankings from the various websites. We haven’t been that high in about 30 years. Next year, I would like him to do better locally, but he did pull some good kids nationally. MarQueis Gray is the standout recruit. He’s a raw but big QB out of Indiana and looks dynamic of what highlights I’ve seen. The stat that sticks out is that from the years ’02-’07 we had a total of four four-star recruits. Tim has six coming in next year. That’s a hell of an improvement.

Lastly, today is my birthday. Hoorah! Kidding. But Garth Brooks, Ashton Kutcher, Chris Rock, Juwan Howard, Steve Nash, James Spader and if Charles Dickens was still alive, him too--- all share a birthday with me.

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Excuses, excuses

I know, I know; it's been a slow week here at TKOT. We had a lot going on last week with a bunch of new columns and may have tired ourselves out a bit. Kind of like that kid in gym class who sprints the first lap of the mile run and then dies out as everyone, even the fat kids, pass him by.

So here's the deal: it's Fuzz's b-day week, so he gets a pass as far as needing to post multiple articles. Dogg and I have had outrageously busy weeks, thus the lack of production from this site. Have no fear though. There will be at least one new post this weekend and we will be back in the swing of things next week. You'll soon be reading about the recent blockbuster NBA trades, Duke-Carolina, and pitchers and catchers reporting.

In the mean time, go read Deadspin or Gilbert's blog for some entertainment. Or, heaven forbid, get off your computer for once and do something active. Just remember that we are 10 days from the Twins starting and a mere 3 weeks to the day from the first spring training game.

If you really need your fix of TK, feel free to start up a conversation in the comments section and I'm sure others, including the writers, will be happy to join in.

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Voices from a Stranger

You guys know the drill now. This entry comes from someone else besides us three pimps. If you'd like to write a guest column contact us in anyway you know. The email address to the right works also. This entry comes from the fella that gave us our first "Voices from a Stranger" piece. Along the same lines as that one, he's back for another mock draft. This guy is known for his big personality and his salmon colored hoodie that he wears non-stop. Enjoy...


All right, I’m back with another look at the NFL Draft. This is my first full round mock I’ve ever done, so you’ll have to bear with me. Obviously I’m not chewing on game film or scouting these players like the pros so most of what I am going off is what I have read in mock drafts and what I’ve seen as NFL team needs. So I’ll be the first to admit I looked at a ton of mocks to come up with this one, but with that said, I hope I offer a little insight to the draft, my top #5 favorite sports day of the year. It’s up there with opening day baseball, opening NFL Sunday, March Madness and College Football National Championship.

1. Miami – Chirs Long DE Virginia
Well this is not an easy choice at #1 and I could see Miami going several different ways. I originally thought they would go with Jake Long here but now that the Big Tuna is in town it looks like they are going defense. I am not as high on Glenn Dorsey as everyone else seems to be and I think getting a difference maker on the edge who played in a 3-4 in college is going to be too hard to pass up for the old man. With that being said I could see several people trading up to this spot to try to land either Matt Ryan or Darren McFadden.

2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long OT Michigan
They just gave a pile of money to Marc Bulger so I doubt they go QB here, even though they probably should. They can’t take McFadden with Steven Jackson there so they either trade down and pick up an OT later in a deep OT draft or they take the best one available here. Orlando Pace is 53 years old and they can’t pass up an anchor like Jake Long. This guy’s going to be a stud and I’m a huge fan of drafting OT’s early. They usually work out.

3. Atlanta Falcons – Matt Ryan QB Boston College
The next three teams; Falcons, Raiders and Chiefs will decide draft order by a coin toss. But I’ll use this format as most mocks I’ve read have used this order. I think the Falcons have to go QB. They have to figure Vick is done and done, and Joey Harrington or Byron Leftwich are not the answer. I think Ryan is the top QB in this draft and maybe the second best overall prospect behind McFadden. I think he’s a good fit in Atlanta and will give them a solid QB going forward. I don’t know if “Matty Ice” goes this high, but I think it’s a good fit.


4. Oakland Raiders – Darren McFadden RB Arkansas
I know Justin Fargas is a big sleeper in next years’ fantasy drafts, but if I’m Al Davis I’m not putting the future of my franchise in his hands. They signed the big time QB last year, and why not start by surrounding him with a stud RB. Lots of rumors about Jerry Jones trading up to get his boy McFadden but it’s hard to predict trades. I think the Raiders do themselves a favor and keep the pick and take possibly the best player in the draft.

5. Kansas City Chiefs – Glenn Dorsey DT LSU
I’ve seen a lot of mocks having Kansas City taking offensive line and I see that as a real possibility. That would help LJ immediately fantasy wise, but turns out NFL teams don’t draft guys to improve other people’s fantasy value. I know it’s weird but it’s just the way it is. This team is so far from contention they don’t need to draft based on need because the needs are all over the board. They can take the best player available and Dorsey is that. Plus he’s a good foundation to rebuilding a defense.

6. N.Y. Jets – Calais Campbell DE Miami
The Jets could go a variety of directions including QB or RB if for some reason McFadden or Ryan are still there. I could see Brohm or Woodson here if they aren’t sold on Clemens, but I think they go DE, another major need. A lot of mocks have Vernon Gholston going here and I don’t think that’s too outrageous. But every year someone shoots up draft boards and I am predicting that’s Campbell. The dude is 6’8” 280 lbs and might run in the 4.7’s. I think he’s the real deal and if he drops like some predict I hope he ends up in purple. He had a “bad junior year” But if 12.5 tackles for loss and 6 sacks is bad, I’ll take him. The guy is a beast.

7. N.E. Patriots – Kenny Phillips S Miami
The damn 18-1 Patriots get the seventh pick in the draft. That’s ridiculous. Conventional wisdom says they trade this pick to stock pile a bunch of lower round picks, but once again we aren’t predicting trades. So I have them taking a stud safety because Harrison is getting old and without HGH how long will he last?

Once again I see Phillips dropping on some boards and this is the #1 guy I would like to see in purple but I don’t think we’ll be that lucky.

8. Baltimore Ravens – Brian Brohm QB Louisville
The Kyle Boller experiment has to be officially over, doesn’t’ it? And I think Brohm is going to be a legit NFL QB. A lot of comparisons of Brohm say he is the next Jim Kelly. I think if the Ravens got that they would blow a load as big as Dogg does when he watches the “Girls Gone Wild” commercials. This team is desperate for a QB and I think they gamble on Brohm or Woodson.

9. Cincinnati Bengals – Sedrick Ellis DT USC
I’ve seen Ellis going as high as #1 to Miami in some mocks so at #9 he has great value. Cinci’s D is bad folks, real fucking bad. They need help, everywhere. I think Ellis starts in a good spot: The middle.

10. New Orleans Saints – Mike Jenkins CB South Florida
There is no way the Saints should be drafting this high. They are too good of a team. But they need help bad in the secondary. I know they weren’t too happy with the Jason Craft signing out of Indy as he got torched real bad on national TV. So I think they need to go CB. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know much about any of the top CB’s in this draft. They project Jenkins, Aqib Talib, and Leodis McKelvin as the top 3 CB’s. Who the hell are those three? I say whoever emerges at the top goes here.

11. Buffalo Bills – Limas Sweed WR Texas
In my opinion this might be the steal of the draft (and he probably won’t go this high, he could go much lower). I think Sweed is a top 5 talent and is going to be a stud receiver in the Braylon Edwards Mold. He’s big strong and fast. I like him a lot and I think he shoots up draft boards as well.


12. Denver Broncos – Vernon Gholston DE Ohio State
The Broncos can’t do much of anything on defense lately and I think they need help all over. Gholston is a strong DE that comes off the edge well, but could also play OLB if needed. I think he would be perfect in Denver. There biggest need is probably OL but they like to find smaller quicker guys later in drafts and they do quite well with that. I see them going DL here.

13. Carolina Panthers – Sam Baker OT USC
Another team that needs a lot of help. I think they’d be better off starting to rebuild instead of trying to ride this team to mediocrity, but I’m afraid that’s the direction there headed. I think John Fox wants to win now (and probably has to, to keep his job) so he’ll draft someone who can help them immediately. I think Baker will grade higher than Ryan Clady after the combine and I think he’s the guy here. Clady is big and unpolished, Baker isn’t quite as big but he is smart and polished. Once again I think it’s hard to pass up a big OT in the first round, they usually make you better immediately.

14. Chicago Bears – Andre Woodson QB Kentucky
If the Bears don’t go QB I think that will shock a lot of people. They need some hope there and I think Woodson’s big time arm will give them a little hope. Unless the Bears see something in Rex Grossman that even my little fucking sister can’t see. How can Rex Grossman not be done?


15. Detroit Lions – Ryan Clady OT Boise State
Jon Kitna ran for his life all season. Not that I think Jon Kitna is good but he could probably be better if he had more than a second and a half to make a decision. I think OL is imperative to the Lions this year and whether they address it through free agency or the draft they’ll do something. Clady is a big kid out of Boise State and can play both tackle positions. That’s always a plus.

16. Arizona Cardinals – Kentwan Balmer DT North Carolina
A lot of people have Jonathon Stewart going here, but this is a fairly decent running back draft in the second to third rounds and I think they’ll wait on a RB. Balmer is projected high and is another hole clogger in the middle. Arizona is loaded on offense but needs to get better on D to get to that next level. I think they’ll gamble on keeping Edge at least one more year and remember they just blew a pick on J.J. “I’m better than Reggie Bush” Arrington. Teams don’t like to admit mistakes that fast and I think they’ll steer from RB with this pick.

17. Minnesota Vikings – Reggie Smith CB/S Oklahoma
This pick was the most fun and probably the hardest for me to make. Wow, this year’s draft is wide open for the Vikings. I know they need a receiver bad, but I don’t think they can afford to take one in the first round and wait 3 years for them to develop and besides Sweed, I wouldn’t want any other receiver here. I think DE is a possibility but our line is decent and getting better. I don’t mind the rotation of Scott, Udeze, James, Edwards and Robison. You could do worst. The linebackers are average but there isn’t a difference maker in this draft at that position. The OL could use some help but it came around nicely at the end of the year. That leaves the secondary and I think that’s the route we go. I would love to see the Miami safety Kenny Phillips fall to us but I doubt that happens.

We could go corner, but I think they like the Winfield, Griffin and McCauley rotation. Although I am sure they try to pick up one more for depth either in free agency or the first three rounds of the draft. With that being said, I am going Reggie Smith out of Oklahoma. He played safety early on in college and then moved to CB this year. He is big and physical and our secondary could use that. Is he the perfect draft pick? No, but I think he’ll be pretty damn good.

18. Houston Texans – Aqib Talib CB Kansas
Texans need help in the secondary. I have no idea who this Talib guy is but if he rates out where they say he is going to I could see the Texans taking him or another top CB here. RB is also a strong possibility unless they fell in love with Ron “I have a Heisman” Dayne this year. But between you and I, I doubt that happened.

19. Philadelphia Eagles – Malcom Kelly WR Oklahoma
Here is the start of a run on receivers this round. It is actually a pretty good receiver draft at the top. There isn’t the top 5 name like usual but a lot of good late first round receivers. Kelly is 6’4”, 217 pounds and fast. I think he fits perfect for the Eagles and could give them the receiver they have missed dearly since T.O. peaced out.

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – DeSean Jackson WR California
If the Vikings take this guy, I might just quit being an NFL fan. Yes he has blazing speed. Yes he might be a game changer in the Ted Ginn mold. (I don’t think Ginn will change many games at the NFL level though either) But if the Vikes draft a 165 lb blazer, I will be pissed. However, Tampa needs receiving help and return help. I like him to Tampa and think Gruden might take the gamble.

21. Washington Redskins – Mario Manningham WR Michigan
This is another guy like Sweed who could be very good at the next level, he is not ultra big but he plays bigger than the 6’0” that he is. Hell they signed Keenan McCardell last year. When their top two wideouts are 5’3” Santana Moss and 5’2” Randle-El they’re in trouble. I think Manningham gives them that across the middle compliment to the speedy outside receivers and Chris Cooley. I like what Manningham can bring to this team. Plus he has produced. He had 27 receiving TD’s in his three years at Michigan.


22. Dallas Cowboys – Leodis McKelvin CB Troy
This is an overrated secondary. Roy Williams can’t cover the pass and Terrance Newman is overrated as well. Anthony Henry is going to be a safety real soon so why not get depth at Corner? Once again zero clue who this guy is but I think the Cowboys go secondary or RB with this pick.

23. Pittsburgh Steelers – Jeff Otah OT Pittsburgh
The Steelers love maulers in their OL and that’s what this kid is. He would fit right in at RT and help them immediately.

24. Tennessee Titans – Keith Rivers OLB USC
So with Lauranitis staying in school it took this long to get a LB off the board. Rivers is quick and does have Derrick Brooks like tendencies, but he isn’t quite as good. With a great workout he could shoot up the draft board, but I like him to Tennessee here. The Titans also need help at CB since they all but said “no more Pacman.” The surprise is it took them this long to figure out he isn’t good for their team. Maybe the Raiders would be a good fit? Just saying.

25. Seattle Seahawks – Jonathon Stewart RB Oregon
Shaun Alexander turns 62 next week and hasn’t ran the same since he got off the ‘roids after the 05 season. I’ve always hated that fucker by the way. I have no reason, just always have. I think the Seahawks realize it’s over with him and would love to land Stewart with this pick. He should be good and with running backs they can make an immediate impact. The guy is big and fast, think Jamal Lewis.

26. Jacksonville Jaguars – Derrick Harvey DE Florida
Lots of mocks have him going to the Vikes but I think he drops a bit. His production was good but not great and he’ll grade out good but not awesome. I think he’d be a good fit on that Jacksonville line and give them a speed rush off the edge that could make them very dangerous.

27. San Diego Chargers – Phillip Merling DE Clemson
This kid is a big kid who could be a force at the next level. He can rush the passer but also help against the run. A great DE/DT type in the 3-4. Let Merriman rush the edge and this kid hold is ground on the end. Would be a good fit for the Chargers.

28. Dallas Cowboys – Felix Jones RB Arkansas
Jerry Jones has been very public that he wants McFadden bad. He loves the Razorbacks and I think he loses out on McFadden but he’ll take second best in Felix Jones. Another non starting RB who could go in the first round, almost a Ronnie Brown/Cadillac Williams situation. It will be interesting. A lot of mocks have the Cowboys taking a RB but I think they might be sold on that kid from Wayzata. We’ll see. Big time fantasy implications if they take a RB here.


29. San Francisco 49ers – James Hardy WR Indiana
D-Jack didn’t provide much help and Vernon Davis has disappointed. They need to give Smith something to throw to and Hardy gives them big time talent there. Kid’s been in a little trouble but the queers in San Fran should keep him in check.

30. Green Bay Packers – John Carlson TE Notre Dame
This is definitely a homer pick. I’ll come out and say it right now. You’ll probably see Fred Davis out of USC go ahead of Carlson, but I think Carlson has the tools to be an NFL tight end. The Packers love their big white boys and Carlson would give them another one to love. It would be bittersweet seeing him go to the pack. I love Minnesota players going in round 1 but it would kill me to see him in green and gold.

31. New England Patriots – Forfeited, Dipshits.

32. New York Giants – Dan Connor LB Penn State
The Superbowl champions could use some help on D and I am not crazy over Connor but he’s from linebacker U and projects to be decent at the next level. The Giants are weak at LB and he could fit in nicely there.

Out,
The Bag

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We Know Nothing

What kind of drug-induced illusion made us think that we had any sort of authority to predict the outcome of the Super Bowl? Who knows. There are few things to touch on from tonight's game, however.

I'm at a loss for words on just how improbable the result of this game is to me. And what a strange game it was. Two quick scores on the first two possessions of the game and then nothing until the 4th quarter? Weird. Brady leading his team to a go ahead touchdown late in the game and not having it be the game-winning score? Unreal. The 18-0 Patriots losing to the New York Football Giants on a last second touchdown? Borderline unbelieveable.

You do realize that since the Vikings destroyed the Giants and the G-Men beat New England to win it all, that if the Vikes hadn't blown their chances and gotten into the playoffs that...naw, I won't go there.

Want to know just how bad our picks were? Well, all 3 of us had the Pats (Fuzz and I in blowouts) along with Tom Brady as MVP. Wrong and wrong. None of us thought Bellichick would rock the red cutoff hoodie. And the receiving predictions? Not even close. Wes Welker caught 11 balls to tie a Super Bowl record. Most of the stats we were throwing out for Plax and Moss would have been top 5, if not record breaking, performances all time in the big game. Our bad.



By the way, Plaxico Burress predicted that the Giants would win 23-17. What was that final score again? Not bad. Maybe he should write for TK.

While I'm sure that Eli Manning being the Super Bowl MVP is a sign of the apocalypse, the fact remains that ELI MANNING IS THE MVP OF THE SUPER BOWL. He is now second worst athlete ever to win an MVP award, behind David Eckstein of the St. Louis Cardinals a couple years back. Despite all of this, the fact that he was able to lead his team to the Lombardi Trophy makes me wonder just how good of a quarterback you need to win it all. Maybe, just maybe, you can make a playoff run with a guy like this...



Well, that's it for now. Mock draft coming on Monday, be ready.

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Superbowl!

Here are quick predictions of the upcoming Superbowl so we have them down in print. We caught Dogg at a bad time but he still had time to get something down. Early next week, we have a "Voices from a Stranger" piece coming out with a complete breakdown of the first round of the NFL draft. It's never early enough to get out a mock draft!

Who wins the Superbowl?

Q- The Patriots are going to win in a route. I just can't believe all of the people out there who are trying to convince themselves (and others) that the G-Men have a chance. I know New York has made a nice little run, but this is still the same team that the Vikes absolutely killed. I'm supposed to believe that they're going to hang with the greatest team of all time? Really? I see something along the lines 45-20.

Fuzz- I’m with Q. I see the Patriots bringing out all the stops and piss pounding the Giants. I hope not because I have a bottle of Crown on the game with my pops, where I have the Giants (he got to pick first). In that warm weather, I see them scoring a ton of points and completing the 19-0 season. How funny was that “OK” by Brady when responding to Plaxico’s prediction? That was awesome. I see it being 35-14.

Dogg: New England wins

Who's the MVP?

Dogg: Tom Brady in a hose job decision.

Fuzz: Brady is too easy of a pick, so I’m going with Randy Moss. How funny would that be? They’ll put him on the mic after the game where a gazillion people will be watching and he’s going to say something legendary. I can’t say what exactly but it’s going to be a hot/funny topic on Monday morning. Then he retires.

Q- They'll give it to Brady just because the people who vote on these kinds of things love to sniff his jock. He'll throw for a couple of early touchdowns and that will be enough to get him the award and the debate between him and Montana will be on every talking head sports show on Monday. But the real MVP of the game will be Laurence Maroney. After the Pats get up by 14-20 points early, he's going to pound the ball and help them control the clock and run out the game.

Who has a better game Burress or Moss? Predict stats too please...

Dogg: Moss...it’s the flippin SB and we all know being from MN how this guy plays in the spotlight. (Moss: 8 rec. 177 yds. 3 TD) (Burress: 9 rec. 124 yds.)

Q- Burress will have more catches and yards, but Moss will be the one with the touchdown(s) and the big highlights. I got Plax going 12 for 135 with no scores. Moss will get 5 for 85 and 2 TD's (at least one of which will be over 40 yards).

Fuzz: Since I picked Straight Cash Homey for the MVP, Moss will have the better game. Burress will go about 8 for 104 with a TD. Moss will go 5 for 195 and three TD’s. Moss has been waiting his whole career to get on the big stage and he’s not going to disappoint.

What will Bill Belichick be wearing?

Fuzz: Flip-flops, jogging sweats, a wife beater & bright orange water wings. I wouldn’t be one bit surprised if he comes out of the tunnel with this. He hasn’t moved past his kindergarten wardrobe and nothing would surprise me at this point.

Q- I think he goes high class and goes with the short-sleeve polo that doesn't quite fit. It's the biggest stage in sports and he'll want to look good. Of course if that rain that has been on and off in AZ for the last few days shows up again, then it will be a guaranteed cut-off hoodie.

Dogg: I think he’ll be wearing Khakis and a polo. He’ll change it up just to be different. The guy is the mystery man…and a huge d bag.

How many times will Tom Brady's name be mentioned during the duration of the game?

Q- Wow, do numbers go that high? Who's going to keep track of this? Do the pregame, halftime, and/or post game shows count? I'm going to assume that they don't and I'll go with 113 1/2, though that's probably way too low.

Fuzz: Five hundred thousand. Over/Under on paparazzi videos and pictures showed when play has stopped is 27.

Dogg: Him himself (145), his ankle (121), and Gisele (27).

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