Video 2

Reid's video.Type rest of the post here

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Selection Video

Here we go.Happy about our seed.

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Favorite Sports Phrases: Baseball

*This is the first in a four-part series detailing some of my favorite sayings in the sports world. Each entry will have the meaning behind it (for those who don’t know it) as well as a personal anecdote to go with it.

As I was watching the Twins game on TV this weekend (yes, I’m still watching and holding out hope), I noticed just how many slang terms and phrases are used to describe the actions and events taking place. It led me to try and come up with a list of my 10 favorite phrases in the game, so here they are, in no particular order:

“A Great Piece of Hitting”
This is a phrase that is used by the Twins broadcasting team ad nauseam (and the reason for this four-part series). Any time a player works a count, fights off some pitches, or hits the ball the other way, someone in the FSNorth broadcast booth will tell us that it was “a great piece of hitting”. Despite the overuse by those gentlemen, it’s still a great phrase. As a bonus, if you’re hanging out with peers who have a limited knowledge of baseball (not recommended), using this saying at the right time will make you sound more baseball savvy—even if you’re not.

“The Golden Sombrero”
The term given to a player who strikes out four times in one game. The background to this one is the best part about it in my mind. It starts with three strikeouts being referred to, ironically, as a “hat trick”, which was shortened to “the hat”. A sombrero is a giant hat—as is striking out four times. The golden part tells you just how special this accomplishment is. There’s nothing I like better than calling a friend and saying something like “Did you see A Rod got the Sombrero last night.” Classic.


Time for a new hat, Alex

“Pulled the String”
This is a term that describes a slow pitch known as a changeup. The imagery associated with this phrase is what led to it being included on the list. If you’ve ever seen a really good pitcher, who throws a hard fastball, confuse and embarrass a hitter by changing speeds by upwards of 20 mph, then you understand why this saying is so appropriate. There was no one better in recent history at “pulling the string” than Johan Santana. Man, that guy was fun to watch.

“Punch and Judy Hitter”
One of the many nicknames given to scrappy, light hitting players (usually middle infielders) whose only hits seem to be bloop hits and infield singles. Using this phrase to describe a hitter means you probably think very little of their ability at the dish. See: Punto, Nick.


This picture should be next to "Punch and Judy Hitter" in the dictionary

“Taking the Collar”
This refers to a player going hitless in a game. The background to this phrase comes from the belief that if you’re a professional baseball player you should be able to get a hit at least once each game and if you don’t, you choked. That’s where the “collar” comes from—it represents the tightening around the neck. Of course, even the best hitters in the game occasionally go 0-fer, but it’s still a fun saying. I love it when someone on Baseball Tonight tells me “Derek Jeter took the collar tonight”.

“Duck Fart”/“Dying Quail”/“Groundball with Eyes”
All of these phrases are used to describe a weak/lucky hit. The first two are in reference to a soft hit that lands just past the infield. If you can actually picture a quail flying through the air, dying, and then falling to the ground, you have an image of what one of these hits looks like. The third phrase describes a groundball that seems to know where it’s going and can avoid your glove. For me (copyright Randy Jackson), these phrases will forever be immortalized by Kevin “Crash Davis” Costner’s speech in Bull Durham.


He hit the bull...

“Human Rain Delay”
This describes a pitcher or batter that takes too much time in between pitches. Whether it’s the pitcher wandering around the mound after each pitch and taking his time once he’s actually on the mound or a batter who steps out after every pitch to readjust every part of his equipment (Nomar Garciaparra was the worst at this), this player causes the game to come to a standstill. It’s as if the game is in a rain delay and not being played at all—hence the phrase.

“Get Me Over”
This refers to a pitch that is meant to simply get over the plate for a strike so that the batter isn’t walked. Most pitchers throw “get me over” fastballs with runners on and a 3-0 count, though some will throw a “get me over” curveball as well. This has always been a favorite saying of mine for a couple reasons. One, it’s often a recipe for disaster: middle of the order hitters feast on “get me over” fastballs, and there’s nothing cooler than a long home run. Two, the phrase itself makes me smile. It kind of implies that the pitcher is talking to the ball and trying to will it over the plate (which might have actually been the case when Mark Fidrych was pitching).


"Bat Sh*t Crazy" personified

“Throwing Peas”
If a pitcher is “throwing peas”, his ball is moving so fast or cutting so hard that it makes the batter feel like he’s seeing/swinging at peas. This is another phrase that relies on visualization to really understand what is being said. One can imagine just how hard it would be to hit a pea thrown at 90+ mph. Plus, just saying this phrase makes me feel cool—“Man, Verlander was throwing peas last night.” Try it...told ya.

“Uncle Charlie”/“Deuce”/“Hammer”/“Hook”
All of these are nicknames for a curve ball. I just love the fact that one pitch can have so many different names (there are plenty more where this came from). This variety of terms allows you to be repetitive without sounding redundant:
“Zito’s got his hook working tonight.”
“Yeah, his deuce is nasty.”
“Did you see the hammer he threw Tulowitzki?”
“Yeah, that thing fell off the table.”

Well, that’s my list. I know there are a ton of other phrases out there, especially in baseball. Did I leave your favorite off the list? Then post it in the comments section. Coming later this week: basketball phrases.

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Picture of the Week

Ok, so I'm going to try a new thing here at TKOT. Every Sunday, I want to post a picture and corresponding commentary. It doesn't have to be from the biggest/most important story of the week--just something funny or interesting. As loyal readers, you can help me out with this task. If you find a picture that you deem worthy of Picture of the Week status, email it to me at tkontoast@gmail.com. Your contributions are greatly appreciated and you will be given credit if the picture is used.

Today's picture shows you exactly why women's sports will never gain the respect and adoration that men's sports do (and this coming from a guy who coaches girls basketball). The Solheim Cup is the women's version of the Ryder Cup: a US vs. The World golf competition. Don't worry, you probably haven't ever heard of it. The point of posing this picture (and this rant) is to show you why women's sports are rarely taken seriously. The members of our US team have their faces painted like they're a bunch of 5 year olds at the circus. Would any male in any professional competition ever do this? No, they wouldn't.

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Great.

By now you’ve all heard the news. You’re probably sick of the news. As KFAN’s Dan Cole brilliantly put it, “The Ego has landed.” It’s been a whirlwind couple of days with both local and national media fawning over the Vikings’ newest quarterback. The consensus opinion seems to be that a) this is the biggest signing in the history of the NFL, and b) the Vikings are now the favorites to win the Super Bowl.

The second statement is, of course, preposterous. The whole circus surrounding #4 is ridiculous in and of itself, but the hype Vikings fans have talked themselves into is insane. Everyone seems to believe that a 40 year old man who recently had his bicep detached and has a tear in his rotator cuff is going to be the savior of the franchise. That a guy who almost single-handedly played the Jets out of a playoff spot last year is going to send the Purple to Miami in February.

My favorite part of the argument for Captain Wrangler is that “he’s better than Sage or T Jack.” Well my little brother is a better quarterback than Tarvaris, so that argument holds no weight. The question I have: is The One That Shall Not Be Mentioned really better than Sage Rosenfels? Think about this seriously for a second. Forget about the name, the MVP’s, the Super Bowls, the records—everything from the past. Can the BrettBackers honestly say that the player #4 is right now is truly better than Sage? If you ask me, it’s pretty much a draw. Both guys will make the occasional amazing pass. Both guys will have the occasional brilliant game. Both guys are prone to forcing passes when they’re not there. Both guys are very apt at throwing interceptions, especially late in games.


Nice kick, dork

The Purple colored glasses that Vikes fans have put on since Tuesday morning is hindering their ability to rationalize and admit to themselves the truth: this Minnesota Vikings team, with Sage or #4, is likely to win the Central and has an outside chance to make a run in the playoffs. The crazy part to me is that most people understood these expectations up until two days ago. Now we add Brett from Mississippi and all of a sudden we go from a playoff team to a Super Bowl team. Why? Consider the following stats from Gray Beard in recent years:

--In 2001, he threw six interceptions (three for TDs) in a 45-17 playoff loss to the Rams.
--In 2002, his heavily favored Packers team lost to Mike Vick’s wild-card Falcons (Favre had three turnovers).
--In 2003, he basically gave a playoff game away to the Eagles with a classic Brett Favre here-you-go interception.
--In 2004, Favre threw four picks to the eight-win Vikings in a wild-card game loss.
--In 2005 he was the 31st-rated QB in the NFL and missed the playoffs.
--In 2006 he improved, to the 26th-rated QB in the league.
--In his 2007 “bounce-back” season (an anomaly compared to everything surrounding it) he ended the Packers season with an interception in OT against the Giants at home.
--In 2008, his Jets team went 1-4 in the final 5 games to miss the playoffs.

That, my friends, is an ugly playoff résumé from the previous eight seasons. Yet the rubes in this town think that this guy is going to be the final piece of the puzzle for playoff success in Minnesota? C’mon. In the past four seasons, Favre has thrown 88 TDs and 84 INTs. Take out his ‘07 “bounce-back” season and those numbers dwindle to 60 TDs and 69 interceptions. In fact, '07 is the only year in the past four where Favre threw more TDs than picks. He led the league in interceptions in ‘05 and ‘08, while being in the top 5 in ’04 and ’06.


Yeah, he's great in the clutch...

This is the guy that everyone rushed to Winter Park to see get out of a car and was followed by local news helicopters. Keep these stats in mind when YOUR new favorite quarterback fails to deliver once again and the Purple are at home wondering what happened.

*Special thanks to friend of TKOT Nate Baraga (and the website he used) for the statistics used in this article.*

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All Metrodome Team: Visitors

As odd as it seems, the Minnesota Twins have been spending all season trying to make its fan base nostalgic about the Metrodome—even though it’s a dump of a stadium with uncomfortable seats that don’t always face the action. They’ve done promotions, give aways, countdowns, etc. to try and convince everyone that we should feel sad about leaving the Big Inflatable Toilet, before they hype everyone up on Target Field. One of the ways they are doing this is by naming the All Metrodome Team. This team is supposedly comprised of the best (and most liked since it’s voted on by the fans) Twins players at each position from 1982, when the Dome opened, to 2009. Well, I believe that any make believe team needs to have a make believe opponent. So after the jump, I will unveil my All Metrodome Team…the visiting team, that is. This team is made up of players who have absolutely destroyed the Twins during the Metrodome era.

Let me preface this by saying that I don’t have official stats for any of these guys (I tried, believe me, but I’m not so great on the Internets). I’m basing my selections based solely on my knowledge and watching 150+ Twins games a year for the last 10-15 years. This should explain why everyone on this team played post-1990: I don’t have the memory or the stats to include anyone from the 80’s.

*UPDATE: Thanks to a loyal reader, I have now added some statistics to go with my selections. These are their career numbers against the Twins.

First Base: Jim Thome
185 G, .313 BA, .632 SLG, 57 HR, 142 RBI, 1.044 OPS, 202 H



Whether he was playing for the Indians or the White Sox, Thome has spent most of his career in the AL Central and has been punishing Twins pitching the entire time. With his patented aim the bat at you pose and giant uppercut swing, Jim is in the top 3 or 4 for homeruns hit against the Twins in team history. If it was a key situation where a homerun would tie or give the other team the lead, and Thome was up, you may as well have walked away from the TV so you didn’t have to see the inevitable.

Second Base: Ray Durham
105 G, .280 BA, 22 2B, 17 SB, 112 H



This was one of the easiest selections in my mind—and one of the most frustrating opponents during his time in the bigs. Durham was never an elite player. Sure, he made a couple of All-Star teams, but for the most part he was a stop gap: a player brought in for a year or two because a team thought they were going to make a run or had a younger player who wasn’t quite ready yet. However, I vividly remember Ray hitting double after double against Twins pitching, whether he was in an Oakland uniform, or playing for the hated White Sox. It always sucks when a glorified role player consistently destroys your favorite team.

Shortstop: Carlos Guillen
108 G, .305 BA, .843 OPS, 26 2B, 116 H



If there’s one thing Guillen is, it’s a professional hitter (and a below average fielder). Never was that quite so evident than when he would come up against Minnesota late in a close game. It was a virtual certainty that he would find a way to bleed a ball through the infield or rip a double down the line to give the Mariners/Tigers a lead, and likely a victory. A career .288 hitter, I’d bet he’s closer to .350 against the local 9.

Third Base: Casey Blake
97 G, .285 BA, .801 OPS, 23 2B, 110 H



Blake is a very important part of the visiting All-Metrodome Team because not only did he crush Twins fans souls, but he represents a very common theme: former players coming back to Minnesota and dominating. Even though he was an unimpressive minor leaguer before the Twins gave him a couple of shots at being an everyday player in the early 2000’s, Blake seems to have some sort of vendetta against the team. If someone told me that half of his career homeruns came against the Twins, I wouldn’t even bat an eye.

Outfield: Ken Griffey Jr.
137 G, .287 BA, .941 OPS, 42 HR, 116 RBI, 151 H



To be fair, Junior kills just about everybody. There’s a reason why he’s a lock to be a first ballot Hall of Famer and was every kid’s favorite player in the 90’s. But he didn’t have to prove it every time he played against Minnesota? You expect the best players in the league to play well against your team and come up with big hits: that why they’re the best. Still, there wasn’t one pitcher on the Twins staff who wasn’t guaranteed to give up a long ball to Griffey. And if it was a Radke-Griffey Jr. matchup? I don’t think Vegas would even put odds on an HR—it was going to happen. Even now, at the tail end of his career, Griff still destroys the Twins, as evidenced by his short stint with the White Sox last year, and his power resurgence during opening weekend this year.

Outfield: Tim Salmon
105 G, .272 BA, .915 OPS, 25 2B, 100 H



Salmon is the only position player on this list who has never played in the AL Central, which makes his inclusion on this team all the more impressive. From his Rookie of the Year campaign in ‘93 until his retirement in 2006, he consistently tore up Twins pitching whenever he got the chance (though he did conveniently stink up the joint in the 2002 ALCS). To be fair, I could include a number of Angels players from that era as well since they, along with the Yankees, were one of the teams the Twins could never beat. But Salmon nudged out Garrett Anderson to get the spot.

Outfield: Albert Belle
107 G, .315 BA, .994 OPS, 38 2B, 97 RBI



Speaking of teams that killed the Twins in the late 90’s, here’s the representative from the Cleveland Indians. With a lineup that also included Kenny Lofton, Carlos “One if by land, two if by sea, three if” Baerga, and Manny Ramirez, it was easy to see why they were the class of the American League at the end of the century. Though all of the players listed were studs, no one found the seats more often than Joey. With his big, hulking frame (likely enhanced by steroids) and huge, powerful swing (using a bat that was likely corked), Al spent a lot of time in the Dome lightly jogging around the base paths. And yes, I’m still bitter.

Designated Hitter: Frank Thomas
186 G, .290 BA, .969 OPS, 42 2B, 52 HR, 142 RBI, 194 H



If my memory serves me right, Thomas is in the top 3 for homeruns against the Twins. That alone gets him on this team. As a kid, he was the scariest, most intimidating player I ever saw. He was a 6’5”, 250+ lbs homerun hitting monster. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who was scared of him—so were Twins pitchers who were more than happy to guide pitches over the middle of the plate just to appease him (or so it seemed). They were even kind enough to groove one for him to get his 500th career homer. Frank will likely go into the HOF at some point, but if he had played his whole career against the Twins he’d have 800+ HR’s and be considered the greatest player of all time.

Starting Pitcher: Mike Mussina
33 G, 22-6, 3.10 ERA, 7.3 K/9, 3.51 K/BB



His career record against the Twins was brought up every single time he pitched against us (thanks Dick and Bert), thus deflating any hope that I’d ever have that we had a chance to finally beat him. Like most of the players on this team, he did damage against the Twins with multiple organizations, but I remember him best when he was in Baltimore. I used to hate Moose as a little kid because I thought the way he dipped his shoulders to look at the runner on first was a balk every time (still do), yet it was never called. Then as a teenager/adult I hated him because seeing that knuckle-curve meant that there was no chance for my favorite team to win the game.

Starting Pitcher: Mark Buehrle
39 G, 23-15, 4.00 ERA, 5.7 K/9, 4 CG



Don’t let the last couple of starts against the Twins fool you: Buehrle has owned us ever since he came into the league in 2000. Even during that run of division titles earlier in this decade, we would always lose to the White Sox when he was pitching. Granted, any tall, imposing lefty usually killed the Twins, and maybe it’s because we faced him so often, but when I saw Buehrle’s name as that game’s starting pitcher, I started looking at the matchups for the next day to see if we would be able to get the game back that we were about to lose.

Closer: Mariano Rivera
34 GF, 26 SV, 1.20 ERA, 8.9 K/9, 5.36 K/BB, 0.850 WHIP



I know, I know: this one isn’t really fair. Mariano is arguably the best and most dominating closer of all time. But I don’t care. I’ve seen way too many Twins hitters freeze looking at that nasty cutter for strike three in the ninth inning to not include him on this team. The Twins have a well publicized awful record against the Yankees, and it’s not because we get blown out all of the time. Quite the contrary actually. We usually hang in against the Bronx bombers, only to have Rivera step on our throats at the end of the game every time.

Manager: Ron Gardenhire



Gardy beat out a very tough field to gain this honor. Guys like Mike Scioscia, Joe Torre, and Mike Hargrove were all considered, but none of them has done more to defeat the Twins than Ron has. His pitching selections, terrible use of the bullpen, unjustifiable lineups, insane pinch hitting choices (Luis Rodriguez anyone?), refusal to let lefties hit against lefties, playing AAA call-ups immediately, and so on make this a very simple choice when you really look at it.

Again, this is all based on my memory of watching games. I tried not to include players just because they achieved a milestone hit against the Twins, which happened often (see: Ripken Jr., Cal, Murray, Eddie, etc.). Did I miss someone? Do you disagree with a selection or five? Post it in the comments section…

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A Man with a Plan

Maybe I’m an optimist. Maybe years of watching The Ostrich have diluted my senses. Maybe I just like seeing the Timberwolves in the news all the time. Whatever the reason might be, I like the way David Kahn has taken control of this franchise and is beginning to mold it into his vision. Is it guaranteed to work? Of course not. But Kahn seems like a man with a plan and he is determined to carry it out. Compared to the way the Wolves (or any other Minnesota sports franchise) have gone about business in the past, this is a welcomed change—be it successful or not.


Great player; No clue how to run a team

This new approach all started with the decision not to bring back Kevin McHale as head coach (or any other front office position for that matter). McHale, who could easily be described as the most hated man in the history of Minnesota professional sports, had long been blamed by the fan base for the team’s failures. Much of this blame was deserved. McHale botched draft picks, gave out horrific contracts (some illegal), had no eye for talent, and was unable/unwilling to surround the franchise’s greatest player with even serviceable teammates. Though his time as VP of Basketball Operations had been over with since midseason, Kahn decided that the team needed to rid itself of his services entirely. I’d say this is a brilliant move: distance the team from its unsuccessful past while endearing yourself to the fan base by getting rid of their villain.


The start of a new beginning

The next step revolved around the draft. The Wolves entered the 2009 NBA Draft with four first-round picks: one from their 08-09 record, two from previous trades, and one from Kahn getting rid of core players Randy Foye and Mike Miller. If you’re starting a major rebuilding project, a gluttony of early draft picks is a great way to begin. On top of that, Kahn was getting rid of failed McHale-era players and basically starting from scratch. With their picks, the team selected the draft’s most marketable player (Rubio), a stud point guard (Flynn), another talented point guard (Lawson), and a deadly three-point shooter (Ellington). They then traded Lawson for an additional 2010 first-round pick (likely giving them three total in next year’s draft). While the results on the court are yet to be determined, you’d have to say that the draft was a success. The team got the new potential face of the franchise in Rubio, and a couple of young guns who will get plenty of playing time to prove their merit. They also rid themselves of anything linking the “new” Wolves with anything from their unsuccessful past. Additionally, they set themselves up to add a lot more young talent in next year’s draft.


A concern for all NBA teams

As a fan, I would have been very content if that was the end of our offseason movement. But Kahn’s plan was not over yet. Sure, he’d cleaned house and was starting anew with a very young team, but that’s only one side of running an NBA franchise. The other side deals with money. One problem that a ton of franchises have is that they’ve paid too much money for inferior players and are in risk of having to pay a luxury tax because of it. Kahn (wisely) decided that a team that struggles to get fans to come to games and sell season tickets probably shouldn’t be wasting its money on luxury taxes. So he dumped serviceable players such as Sebastian Telfair, Craig Smith, Mark Madsen, and Etan Thomas (acquired in the Foye/Miller trade) for Quentin Richardson, Damien Wilkins, and Chucky Atkins—all of whom have bad contracts that expire after the season and free up a lot of money for the team to sign free agents (be them their own or others). While these aren’t front page/SportsCenter type moves, they are intelligent and necessary for properly running a franchise (something McHale never quite figured out).


Crunch will lead us in the right direction

So are the Wolves done making moves? Is Kahn is eyeing a couple of free agents that he’s hoping to sign on the cheap (or use the mid-level exception on) or planning on bringing in some veteran presence to have off the bench and mentor the Timberpups? Are there more cap-friendly moves on the way? Will he be able to work out a deal and get Rubio to come and be the new face of the franchise? Most importantly, will any of this actually work? Only time will give us the answers to these questions. What we do know is that Hurricane Kahn has swept through a doormat of a franchise that was loaded with bad contracts and underachieving players and has left in its wake a young (albeit rebuilding) franchise that is monetarily sound and set to add more young talent in the future. And I, for one, am excited about the direction this franchise is moving.

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