A New Day is Coming...

Dear TK on Toast readers,

Many of you have expressed your displeasure in the disappearance of this website. Fear not Toastians (as I've heard you all call yourselves), for TK 2.0 is coming this spring. Beginning in May of 2009, this site will be back up and running with 2-3 new posts each week. Seeing as I'll be doing most of the writing myself, you may notice a slight change in the format of how this wealth of sports knowledge is presented: posts may be a bit shorter than they used to be, there will be fewer round table discussions, etc. Not to worry though. I have a vast knowledge of sports and enough opinions to fill a blog (convenient, I know). Plus, I'm working on contracts with some of your favorite bloggers from TK's original run (Fuzz, Nic, etc.) to come in and do some guest spots.

I know the anticipation is going to kill you, but 2.0 will be here sooner than you think. Until that time, feel free to get your sports fix from any of the various websites and blogs that exist on the internets--I hear there are quite a few these days. Then when this spring/summer rolls around, come on back to the only sports blog that ever mattered--TK on Toast. See ya soon.

Love,

Q

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Breaking News...

There is some major news in the world of TK...

Sources close to the University of St. Thomas have confirmed that TK has been relieved of his position at The Grill. Terms of his release have not been disclosed. As a cultural icon in the student population as well as the creator of the greatest sandwich of all time (pictured above), it is safe to say that his presence will be missed. For those that don't know him, Tony was UST's version of Seinfeld's Soup Nazi. He's a hilarious guy and a fantastic short order cook who was not afraid to yell at you and embarrass you at the drop of a hat. The Grill won't be the same place without him.

Tony, thank you for the food, the laughs, and the namesake of this site.

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Confessions of a Sports Snob

You see them in every type of social setting: That Guy. The one who thinks they know more or are better than you and let’s you know it—either directly or indirectly. It could be the wine aficionado snidely smiling at your Franzia box purchase at the liquor store. It might be the car guy who openly mocks your “cute little foreign car”, or the fashion expert who can’t believe that you’re wearing a t-shirt and jeans again. It could be the guy at the gym who shakes his head as you attempt to curl 20 lbs. It might be the hair stylist telling you that you have a “neat” haircut, or the teacher who believes that their style is the only acceptable way to educate kids (sorry, personal pet peeve). No matter where you are, people like this are always around. I’ve always hated these people. Then I realized that I was one of them…

When it comes to sports, I’m That Guy. I’m not the super competitive-D League-slow-pitch-softball Guy, but rather the I-can’t-be-bothered-with-this-conversation-because-I-know-so-much-more-than-you Guy.


I may be That Guy, but I'm definitely not This Guy

I’ve been That Guy for a long time now, and I didn’t realize it until just recently. If I’m involved in any kind of sports conversation, I constantly find myself silently judging and usually mocking the others involved. “Oh you watched the Twins game last night? How cute. Do you know the batting averages and ERA’s of every player on the team within a hundredth of a point? Can you not only name, but speak intelligently about all the guys on the opposing team? Do you know the rosters of all of our minor league teams by heart? No? Then don’t try to talk to me about last night’s game." I can’t seem to hold a polite conversation with these people. I can’t even stand there nodding and smiling. I have to leave; I have to get away so I can get on my high horse. It’s incredibly rude and smug, even if these comments are only occurring in my mind. Yet some version of that goes through my head any time someone I deem “unworthy” makes any sort of sports-related comment. Hell, I often silently mock people if they’re simply wearing a Twins or Vikings t-shirt.


There's no way I'm the only one judging/mocking this guy.

Those who know me are probably not surprised by this revelation. I might have a bit of a reputation for openly and outwardly mocking people on a whim. But this self-realization about the level of my sports snobbery is a big step. I feel like I should start going to meetings:
Q: “Hello, my name is Adam and I’m a sports snob.”
Group: “Hi, Adam.”
Q: “Ah, I guess I’ve always had this problem, but I didn’t realize it until just recently.”
Facilitator: “That’s very common, Adam. The important thing is that you recognize it now and you’re getting help.”
Q: “Shut up. You’re probably the guy who loves Joe Mauer simply because he’s from St. Paul and has those stupid sideburns.”
Facilitator: “Now see, this is what we need to work on…”


You like sideburns? Me too! I wonder if there's a club we could join?

Before this article gets too self-deprecating, allow me to validate myself. I got this way through a lot of hard work. I can sense your skepticism, but hear me out. For as long as I can remember, sports have been my only hobby. Virtually every minute of free time I have is spent looking at or doing something sports-related. When people ask me “What’d you do this weekend?” or “What’ve you been up to lately?” my answer is almost always “Nothing much.” I say that because I’m embarrassed to admit that last night I spent two hours on the internet looking up statistics and batting trends of the New Britain Rock Cats (the Twins AA team) or analyzing the remaining schedules of every team in the AL Central. I don’t want to tell them that over the last two weeks I’ve been researching and reading books about the history of the Duke-North Carolina basketball rivalry. But that’s what I do and it’s hard, intense “work”.


This is research. I'm kind of like a scientist...

Yet I hesitate to take pride in my “work”. I do so because sports are viewed as recreation and thus not worthy of this extreme amount of time consumption. If someone told you that they spent their Saturday weeding their garden, most people would not view this as a waste of time. They might even praise them for being outside.


Really, this is acceptable?

However, those same people would likely look down on the fact that I spent my Saturday looking at the contract status’ of potential NBA free agents in 2010. Well gardening is as much of a recreational type of hobby (if not more so) as sports, yet time spent on this activity is not viewed as wasteful.

Maybe that’s why I’ve developed such an elitist attitude when it comes to sports. If everyone is going to degrade my passion, then I’m going to gravitate towards it even more. That’s gotta be it. That’s why the first hour and a half I’m home from work every day is spent on Deadspin.com, TheBigLead.com, etc. while ESPN blares in the background. That’s why I have the Twins game on the TV while my computer has multiple windows open tracking the Angels-Red Sox, Cubs-Brewers, and Rays-Blue Jays games.


I'd call it multi-tasking

It’s not my fault; it’s everyone else’s. It all makes sense now.

My name is Adam, and I know more about sports than you do.

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The Randomness

Ok, so due to a lack of any real sporting news (I REFUSE to write about the d-bag with the 5 o’clock shadow over in Cheeseland), I decided just to throw out some thoughts on a bunch of random little things that are bothering me or that I’ve noticed. If you have any thought comments, or disagreements with what follows, please put it on the comment board and we can get some nice arguments going.



--The Yankees absolutely stole Xavier Nady and Damaso Marte from the Pirates. A .330/15/60 guy and a powerful righty out of the pen for basically one decent prospect? You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve heard that a bunch of MLB GM’s are upset about this trade, and rightfully so. At what point is the league going to stop letting the big market teams bully everyone around and do whatever they want? This is starting to get really embarrassing for Major League Baseball.

--Maybe the St. Louis Cardinals should have made a move. They just got swept, at home, by the Brewers over the weekend and are now 4 games back in the NL Central with two teams in front of them. Plus, both Chicago (Zambrano and Harden) and Milwaukee (Sheets and Sabathia) have two dominant starters that won’t allow them to go on any prolonged losing streaks. Not good times in Saint Louey.



--Let me get this straight, Devin Hester is getting $15 million guaranteed to return kicks? Seriously? I know the Bears say he’s going to get some time at wide receiver as well, but let’s get serious here: he’s nothing more than a return guy. Granted he’s the best around, maybe ever, but so was Dante Hall a few years ago. Remember that guy? The Human Joystick? He was absolutely dominant and now he’s not even an afterthought anymore. Hester has only been going for 2 years and now he’s holding out and getting a ton of guaranteed money? Sounds like a terrible idea to me.

--Blah, blah, blah. Something about Brett Favre. Blah, blah, blah.

--When we look back on it, there’s a pretty good chance that Josh Childress and Brandon Jennings are going to be pioneers of the new NBA. Europe is going to play a huge role in the future of the League, especially for economically challenged high school seniors and lower tier pros (end of the bench guys). If Childress and Jennings have any sort of success, or especially if they parlay their European vacations into lucrative NBA contracts, this kind of thing will become a trend, not an anomaly.

--The AL Central is going to be a tight, three way dance for the last two months. And the Twins have a very favorable in-division schedule the rest of the way out too. I’m just saying…



--Marcus Camby going to the Clippers will prove to be the most underrated move of the NBA offseason. With a core of Kaman-Camby-Thorton-Davis, LA will make the playoffs next year.

--As great of a story as they have been, the Rays remind me a lot of the 2001 Twins: a team that was the surprise, feel-good story of the first part of the season, only to fade down the stretch in August and September. That AL East division is just too tough for an upstart team like Tampa to win, especially when Boston and New York can go out and get any player they want via trade or free agency.



--Has one man caused more stress, unhappiness, unrest, etc. than Drew Rosehaus? Every NFL client he gets immediately hates his contract and thus causes major headache’s for their current team. If ever there was a reason for collusion, it’s this guy.

--The Twins continue to shop for a 3 bagger despite Brian Buscher’s .333 average and 26 RBI in 30 games. I wonder what he did to get in Gardenhire’s dog house? How is he still losing playing time to Brendan Harris and Hey-Didn’t-You-Use-To-Be-Mike-Lamb?

--Before you complain too much about the Vikings’ QB “situation”, keep in mind that the Bears had a coin flip to determine whether Rex “Sex Cannon” Grossman or Kyle “Neck Beard” Orton would take the snaps with the first team offense during training camp. Think about how ridiculous that is…

--Michael Redd and Tayshun Prince will be the keys to Team USA winning gold in Beijing. If they can shoot and play tough perimeter D, this should be a cakewalk for the Americans.



--I like golf; I play golf; I watch golf; I even play fantasy golf. That said, without Tiger Woods, the PGA Tour sucks. No athlete in the history of sports has ever been or will ever be this important to their sport. It’s really incredible to think about the effect he has.

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The Trade Deadline Approaches...

As the Twins returned from the All Star break, they continued their brilliant play of late by taking 2 of 3 from the Rangers (and in the process shutting down one of the best offenses in baseball—Texas’ 4 All Star hitters combined to go 5-40 in the series). Besides the great baseball that the team has been playing, there have been two major subplots revolving around our club: the Francisco Liriano situation (that post will be coming later this week) and the trade deadline.

Major League Baseball’s non-waiver trade deadline comes on July 31st. Some teams in the hunt for the postseason have already made moves to try and better position themselves for a playoff run. This is especially true in the National League, where the Cubs (Rich Harden), Brewers (CC Sabathia and Twins-killer Ray Durham), and Phillies (Joe Blanton) have all made huge splashes by acquired some of the top pitchers in the market. It seems like only a matter of time before some of the big guns in the American League (Yankees, Red Sox, White Sox, and Twins) do the same thing to better their teams for the stretch run. So what are the Minnesota Twins going to do?



The big rumor over the last couple weeks has been that we should be/are going after Adrian Beltre, the third baseman from the Seattle Mariners. I dislike this idea for a number of reasons. First, this rumor is based on the assumption that we have a pressing need at third base. I’d say that we have a solid three bag prospect in Brian Buscher (5 hits in the Rangers series including a homerun, by the way), but for some reason Ron refuses to play him on a regular basis. Gardy somehow thinks that playing Brendan Harris, whose batting average is hovering in the .250’s, at third is a great idea because he’s a little bit better than Buscher (hitting in the .330’s) defensively—despite the fact that Buscher has looked solid at the hot corner most of the time. Oh, and Brian is left handed. This is a considerable handicap in Ron Gardenhire’s world. Unless your name is Joe Mauer or Justin Morneau, there’s no possible way that a left handed hitter can have success against a lefty pitcher. It’s simply not possible (this is a direct result of him coming from the Tom Kelly School of Coaching).

The second reason I don’t like this trade is because of what we might potentially have to give up. I’ve read recently that it might take one of our young starters (Baker, Blackburn, Slowey, or Perkins) to make this deal work. Are you kidding me? We’re going to trade away a starting pitcher in his 20’s who is just starting to come into his own for Adrian Freaking Beltre? If Bill Smith is half the man I think he is, then he’ll realize that this is a terrible idea. *Side contradictory note: if we trade the guy we perceive to be the weakest of the four, Slowey in my opinion, then that would open up a rotation spot for the Franchise and thus diffuse that situation altogether.



Finally, we’re talking about Adrian Beltre here. This guy parlayed one completely out of character, possibly steroid influenced, 48 homerun season (he hasn’t hit as many as 30 in a year since) into a monster, unwarranted contract. He’s the same guy who has hit over .300 only once in his career (guess what year that was?). He has been widely unproductive in Seattle; consistently hitting in the .260’s with 150 more strikeouts than RBI during his time in the Great Northwest. Plus, he signed with the Dodgers at a very young age, which history and Miguel Tejada has shown us could mean that he’s 29 years old, as his “birth date” would suggest. Or he could be 35—who knows? Oh and there is that tiny little fact that they seem quite willing to get rid of him…



If you believe that the Twins need to make a move to help their playoff chances, and I do, then the move to make is to acquire some bullpen help. Without the services of Pat Neshek, there has been a big hole in the pen in terms of getting the ball to Joe Nathan. Guys like Brian Bass and Boof Bonser have been incredibly terrible, while guys like Matt Guerrier and Jesse Crain are good only on occasion. Having a dominant, shut down bullpen has been a signature of all good Twins teams over the past 6-8 years. It would be even more crucial to this year’s team because of the inexperience in the starting staff. Much to my surprise, my arch nemesis Ron Gardenhire actually agrees with me. In the Pioneer Press today, Gardy says, “If they could get somebody that can really help us at the end of the game, to set up, to take the place of Neshek, that would be really great.” For the first time in a long time, I think Ron and I are on the same page. /Shudders/

In one of the first ever posts on this site last summer, I lobbied hard for the Twins to acquire a bat to spark some life into their beleaguered offense—namely, Dimitri Young. I still think that was the right move. Can you imagine how dominant our lineup would be this year if Young was in the DH spot instead of the Kubel/Monroe platoon? Plus, Morneau might actually be able to get a day off every once in a while. But I digress. This year, I am once again campaigning for a new addition to the Twins: Brian Fuentes of the Colorado Rockies.



The guy has been a very good closer for Colorado (though he did briefly lose his job last year) and I think he would flourish as our 8th inning setup guy. I’ve been hearing a lot of talk on Baseball Tonight about how he could be available; though I have no idea what kind of package it might take to get him here. Acquiring him would mean that our starters would only need to pitch 6 innings and then they could hand the ball over to a Guerrier-Fuentes-Nathan trio to end the game. That would be very tough come September and October.

Realistically, however, most Twins fans know by now that one of two things will happen at the trade deadline. Either the team will stand pat and not make a move because they are unwilling to put together a solid package or deal prospects, or we will trade for some fringe Major League pitcher that no one has heard of (someone in the Craig Breslow mold). Then the blogs (like this one), sports radio shows, etc. will be all over the organization for not making an impact move. Until we make the playoffs, that is…

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LVP...LVP...LVP...

You know who sucks? Dan Uggla. The following is the Marlins' second baseman's line from Tuesday night's All-Star Game:

0-4, 3 K, 1 GIDP, 3 E

Yuck. Way to step up on the big stage, Hank.

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Yay or Nay?

They said I wouldn't look good in Purple...look at me now...look at me now...

This story is too good to ignore. This isn't going to happen is it? I'm putting it at 99% it doesn't, but Favre just came out today stating he wants to play for sure and not at Green Bay. He wants to be released and that's right from the horses mouth. September 8th is the first Monday night football game, Vikings at Green Bay. Can you imagine Brett Favre showing up as the quarterback of the Vikings to the game that the Packers were going to retire his number? That's the best sports story in 10 years. He might get murdered if that happens. That's not a joke. I can't wait to see how this plays out...

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