Twins Roundtable

If there’s one thing that will forever be true about the founding members of TK on Toast, it’s that we love to talk/argue about the Twins. The Hometown 9 causes more excitement and frustration simultaneously than any of the other local franchises. This has never been more evident than with the 2009 version of Gardy’s boys. So I figured there was no better way to start TK 2.0 than with an old school Twins roundtable. You know the drill: the members of this exclusive club all took this fabulous Friday off to meet at an undisclosed location where whiskey, Budweiser, and Grizzly flowed freely throughout the smoked filled room. What follows is the transcript of the conversation.

Fuzz: The Twins had 20 hits yesterday and Punto was 0-5. Wow, I can't defend him anymore. He couldn’t get a hit in a slow pitch softball game right now. By the way, how bad is that Bartlett/Garza for Delmon Young trade? Holy shit that is bad right now. Bartlett is third in the whole damn league in average right now at .379 and Garza has a 3.4 ERA with four wins. I know Delmon has been gone on personal leave but he has a total of two extra base hits, and having another arm like Garza would be really nice about now.


A sickening sight for the Twins faithful

Dogg: We got Harris as well in that trade, and he will be our every day SS soon if Gardy pulls his head out and will hit .280+--just as good as Bartlett will end up.

Nic: Look, Garza needed a fresh start, but why the hell we included Bartlett and Garza in the deal instead of insisting on Blackburn or Perkins is beyond me.

Dogg: True, we haven't had a good SS here forever and he had played well enough to not trade him.

Fuzz: Bartlett is still a better fielder and hitter than Harris. Bartlett will come down from the .379 but he's still better. He also has more range. At the time, I wasn't that pissed but I'm also not a GM or a talent evaluator and Billy Boy Smith deserves to get ripped for this trade. It has turned out awful for us. The Santana trade is different in the sense that only a few teams could sign him with his salary and they were semi forced, but it's still a god awful trade. That youngen pitcher better be the f-ing deal or we just traded one of the best left handed pitchers in the last 30 years for a "poo-poo platter," copyright Bill Simmons. So far, Billy Boy is 0-2 on the trade shit. Besides Crede he hasn't brought in anyone worth dick either. Needless to say, I'm not too happy with the Bill Smith era right now.

Dogg: Blame Gardy for not knowing exactly what we have in Harris….


Should this man be the starting SS?

Fuzz: Fine, I blame Gardy. I blame them all! I'm so fucking pissed off at our organization right now, I can't stand it. We're so bleeping cheap all the god damn time.

How does a Span, Hunter, and Cuddyer outfield sound with a Crede, Bartlett, Casilla/Punto, Morneau and Mauer infield? I'll throw in Kubes for our DH for shits & giggles. Want to get a hit on us? How about a Santana, Garza, Baker, Liriano and pick from one: Slowey, Blackburn and Perkins rotation? Throw the two odd men out in the pen with Nathan and copyright Nate Williams....let's fucking roll!!!!!!Fuck us!

Dogg: Wow, I’ve never looked at it like that but your team listed there is unreal….F our organization is right!!!

Nic: First, if we would have just kept Johan Santana last year we would have made the playoffs. He still would have walked last winter, but we would be receiving 2 first round draft picks for him. Obviously, it’s easy to see it now but that scenario would have been better.Second, what fantasy land is Fuzz living in where we could have the team he threw out there. If we would have kept Hunter and Santana, there's 0 chance we sign Crede. Because those two players would have eaten up 30% of the payroll, we would have had a hard time extending Mauer and Morneau the first time and we definitely could not afford to keep them after their current deals are up.

Also, Span was a bust until something clicked last year. I'm not advocating that Bill Smith is doing even an average job; I'm just saying we made the right call on Hunter and Santana would have been tough to keep.

Finally, every small market team could play that game. What if the Royals were able to keep Carlos Beltran, Jermaine Dye, and Johnny Damon? They would be the team to beat in the central. What if the A's could have afforded to keep Tim Hudson, Barry Zito, Mark Mulder, Jason Giambi, Miguel Tejada, and Eric Chavez? They would have been the team to beat for several seasons earlier this decade. This could go on and on with more teams.


Imagine the possibilities...

Fuzz: I guess I'm in "fantasy land." If your case is that we couldn't sign Crede if we had Hunter and Santana....big f*cking deal! Yes, he has 6 bombs but he's only batting .220. I could live with TKOT's boy Buscher there. I could live with that.

In Carl Pohlad's history, you're right, that team could never happen. But, if he would have looked at Ziggy Wilf and how he spends money like a drunken Irishman, we could have had that team. He never once went above & beyond with his own money. He always stayed right around where they needed to be to break even. He wanted to contract our asses! If he would have took a risk before he passed away (RIP), and said, "Screw it, lock up Hunter, Santana, Mauer & Morneau" and we didn't do that Young trade, that's the team we would have had. Yes, that's a fantasy land thought, and would have never happened but he had all the money in the world to do SOMETHING like that one time in his tenure as the Twins owner. And, he never did!!!!!!!!!! One roll of the dice like that and we would have been the favorite right now to win the Series. Our scouts/talent evaluators/Terry Ryan found the talent we needed to win a world series. We didn't have a lack of talent. It was up to Pohlad to keep that talent and make a run. He never did it that cheap bastard!

Q: Ok, so I've been quiet long enough--a few points:

1) Punto sucks. I've been saying it for years. His crow-hopping, looping throws from short make me want to vomit and he's once again hitting below the Punto Line this year.

2) Mauer hits a Granny and 2 doubles with 6 RBI yesterday. Guess where he was hitting in the lineup? That's right--2 hole. Amazing. What are the odds that he's still at that spot tonight? Effin Gardy.

3) Fuzz, I know you're an angry man these days (see Wolves, Timber and Twins, Minnesota), but your rants are extremely off base right now. Hunter had no desire to stay here--he even said so in the media. Santana was quieter in the media, but his agent made it very clear that he had little desire to be here as well. And if you think Garza wasn't leaving the second he became a free agent, you're kidding yourself.

Bartlett's range is very average, though it is much better than Punto/Harris/Tolbert. Also, everyone always complained that we never make a trade or that we have too much pitching and should trade for some hitting (specifically right-handed power). Well that's exactly what we did. Delmon was coming off of a rookie year where he hit .300 with 20 bombs at the age of 21. Was it a roll of the dice? Absolutely. Did it work out for us? Not at all. I think we became too accustomed to TR ripping everyone off for years and so we have one bad trade and everyone bitches about it.

Lastly, when you're an owner of a professional sports team, you have to treat it like a business, even if the fans don't like it. Otherwise you end up in a major hole where you have to do something like sell the team and risk them being moved. With the lack of money the Twins have coming in (no private network like the big market teams have, low merchandise sales, horrible stadium, etc.), there's no way you can even offer Hunter 20 mil a year and Santana 30 mil a year--you would absolutely hemorrhage money. I too bitch about this way too often myself, but when you step back and look at it, I think we've done a pretty good job of staying competitive, especially recently, when many, many other teams in similar situations (Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, etc.) have not.

Dogg: I think our point was that if our owner would’ve spent any amount of money what so ever we actually would have a shot at winning a title. Realistically, those playoff teams we had had about a 1% chance of winning the WS and that’s just because it’s baseball.

Fuzz: All fair points. Hunter would have stayed here if the money was right. Garza would have too, money talks. Santana seemed like he wanted to leave but you never know, I guess. Delmon hit .288 with 13 bombs his rookie year. You were close but that is still a little bit of a difference off of the .300/20 HR's and to give up Garza & Bartlett for that was a HUGE risk. And, we're getting burned by it now. All fair/legit points though.

However...

Your last comment that we've stayed competitive regardless of our small market status is true, but in my mind, unless you take some risks financially with higher paid players, we'll be stuck where we are for a long time. Christ, we have been stuck for a long time! We'll be competitive, maybe win a division title like we have and then get bounced in the playoffs. We had one year since '91 that we advanced beyond round one. And, we got handled by a better Angels team in five games. And, you win with dominant pitching and overpaying guys like Santana and keeping Garza would have given us a much better chance than our current team. We don't have a true #1 right now. So yes, we're competitive and we hang in there year to year, but we'll need to get extremely lucky to advance to the Series with this current philosophy.

Dogg: We hang in there because our division is terrible…If Peavy signed with Chicago, we could’ve kissed this season goodbye.

Nic: If you are going to argue anybody, please make it someone else other than Torii Hunter. While he is a fine player, we could already see his abilities start to slip and he was never a middle of the order bat. There's no way we would want to be nor could we afford paying him $15 million a season the last 3 years of his current contract when he will probably be even less of a hitter and have to be moved to a corner outfield position.


Cash Rules Everything Around Me

Fuzz: That's fair, I could live without him. Santana is such a stud that we should have been throwing whatever we had at him. Maybe he wouldn't have taken it, but he is the deal.

Q: Great points on Hunter, Nic.
I'm pretty sure the Twins "threw everything we had" at Santana. We offered him a $100 million deal that he and his agent quickly rejected. I seriously doubt this franchise could offer anything more, which kind of sucks, but it’s the reality we live in.

Read More......

A New Day is Coming...

Dear TK on Toast readers,

Many of you have expressed your displeasure in the disappearance of this website. Fear not Toastians (as I've heard you all call yourselves), for TK 2.0 is coming this spring. Beginning in May of 2009, this site will be back up and running with 2-3 new posts each week. Seeing as I'll be doing most of the writing myself, you may notice a slight change in the format of how this wealth of sports knowledge is presented: posts may be a bit shorter than they used to be, there will be fewer round table discussions, etc. Not to worry though. I have a vast knowledge of sports and enough opinions to fill a blog (convenient, I know). Plus, I'm working on contracts with some of your favorite bloggers from TK's original run (Fuzz, Nic, etc.) to come in and do some guest spots.

I know the anticipation is going to kill you, but 2.0 will be here sooner than you think. Until that time, feel free to get your sports fix from any of the various websites and blogs that exist on the internets--I hear there are quite a few these days. Then when this spring/summer rolls around, come on back to the only sports blog that ever mattered--TK on Toast. See ya soon.

Love,

Q

Read More......

Breaking News...

There is some major news in the world of TK...

Sources close to the University of St. Thomas have confirmed that TK has been relieved of his position at The Grill. Terms of his release have not been disclosed. As a cultural icon in the student population as well as the creator of the greatest sandwich of all time (pictured above), it is safe to say that his presence will be missed. For those that don't know him, Tony was UST's version of Seinfeld's Soup Nazi. He's a hilarious guy and a fantastic short order cook who was not afraid to yell at you and embarrass you at the drop of a hat. The Grill won't be the same place without him.

Tony, thank you for the food, the laughs, and the namesake of this site.

Read More......

Confessions of a Sports Snob

You see them in every type of social setting: That Guy. The one who thinks they know more or are better than you and let’s you know it—either directly or indirectly. It could be the wine aficionado snidely smiling at your Franzia box purchase at the liquor store. It might be the car guy who openly mocks your “cute little foreign car”, or the fashion expert who can’t believe that you’re wearing a t-shirt and jeans again. It could be the guy at the gym who shakes his head as you attempt to curl 20 lbs. It might be the hair stylist telling you that you have a “neat” haircut, or the teacher who believes that their style is the only acceptable way to educate kids (sorry, personal pet peeve). No matter where you are, people like this are always around. I’ve always hated these people. Then I realized that I was one of them…

When it comes to sports, I’m That Guy. I’m not the super competitive-D League-slow-pitch-softball Guy, but rather the I-can’t-be-bothered-with-this-conversation-because-I-know-so-much-more-than-you Guy.


I may be That Guy, but I'm definitely not This Guy

I’ve been That Guy for a long time now, and I didn’t realize it until just recently. If I’m involved in any kind of sports conversation, I constantly find myself silently judging and usually mocking the others involved. “Oh you watched the Twins game last night? How cute. Do you know the batting averages and ERA’s of every player on the team within a hundredth of a point? Can you not only name, but speak intelligently about all the guys on the opposing team? Do you know the rosters of all of our minor league teams by heart? No? Then don’t try to talk to me about last night’s game." I can’t seem to hold a polite conversation with these people. I can’t even stand there nodding and smiling. I have to leave; I have to get away so I can get on my high horse. It’s incredibly rude and smug, even if these comments are only occurring in my mind. Yet some version of that goes through my head any time someone I deem “unworthy” makes any sort of sports-related comment. Hell, I often silently mock people if they’re simply wearing a Twins or Vikings t-shirt.


There's no way I'm the only one judging/mocking this guy.

Those who know me are probably not surprised by this revelation. I might have a bit of a reputation for openly and outwardly mocking people on a whim. But this self-realization about the level of my sports snobbery is a big step. I feel like I should start going to meetings:
Q: “Hello, my name is Adam and I’m a sports snob.”
Group: “Hi, Adam.”
Q: “Ah, I guess I’ve always had this problem, but I didn’t realize it until just recently.”
Facilitator: “That’s very common, Adam. The important thing is that you recognize it now and you’re getting help.”
Q: “Shut up. You’re probably the guy who loves Joe Mauer simply because he’s from St. Paul and has those stupid sideburns.”
Facilitator: “Now see, this is what we need to work on…”


You like sideburns? Me too! I wonder if there's a club we could join?

Before this article gets too self-deprecating, allow me to validate myself. I got this way through a lot of hard work. I can sense your skepticism, but hear me out. For as long as I can remember, sports have been my only hobby. Virtually every minute of free time I have is spent looking at or doing something sports-related. When people ask me “What’d you do this weekend?” or “What’ve you been up to lately?” my answer is almost always “Nothing much.” I say that because I’m embarrassed to admit that last night I spent two hours on the internet looking up statistics and batting trends of the New Britain Rock Cats (the Twins AA team) or analyzing the remaining schedules of every team in the AL Central. I don’t want to tell them that over the last two weeks I’ve been researching and reading books about the history of the Duke-North Carolina basketball rivalry. But that’s what I do and it’s hard, intense “work”.


This is research. I'm kind of like a scientist...

Yet I hesitate to take pride in my “work”. I do so because sports are viewed as recreation and thus not worthy of this extreme amount of time consumption. If someone told you that they spent their Saturday weeding their garden, most people would not view this as a waste of time. They might even praise them for being outside.


Really, this is acceptable?

However, those same people would likely look down on the fact that I spent my Saturday looking at the contract status’ of potential NBA free agents in 2010. Well gardening is as much of a recreational type of hobby (if not more so) as sports, yet time spent on this activity is not viewed as wasteful.

Maybe that’s why I’ve developed such an elitist attitude when it comes to sports. If everyone is going to degrade my passion, then I’m going to gravitate towards it even more. That’s gotta be it. That’s why the first hour and a half I’m home from work every day is spent on Deadspin.com, TheBigLead.com, etc. while ESPN blares in the background. That’s why I have the Twins game on the TV while my computer has multiple windows open tracking the Angels-Red Sox, Cubs-Brewers, and Rays-Blue Jays games.


I'd call it multi-tasking

It’s not my fault; it’s everyone else’s. It all makes sense now.

My name is Adam, and I know more about sports than you do.

Read More......

The Randomness

Ok, so due to a lack of any real sporting news (I REFUSE to write about the d-bag with the 5 o’clock shadow over in Cheeseland), I decided just to throw out some thoughts on a bunch of random little things that are bothering me or that I’ve noticed. If you have any thought comments, or disagreements with what follows, please put it on the comment board and we can get some nice arguments going.



--The Yankees absolutely stole Xavier Nady and Damaso Marte from the Pirates. A .330/15/60 guy and a powerful righty out of the pen for basically one decent prospect? You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ve heard that a bunch of MLB GM’s are upset about this trade, and rightfully so. At what point is the league going to stop letting the big market teams bully everyone around and do whatever they want? This is starting to get really embarrassing for Major League Baseball.

--Maybe the St. Louis Cardinals should have made a move. They just got swept, at home, by the Brewers over the weekend and are now 4 games back in the NL Central with two teams in front of them. Plus, both Chicago (Zambrano and Harden) and Milwaukee (Sheets and Sabathia) have two dominant starters that won’t allow them to go on any prolonged losing streaks. Not good times in Saint Louey.



--Let me get this straight, Devin Hester is getting $15 million guaranteed to return kicks? Seriously? I know the Bears say he’s going to get some time at wide receiver as well, but let’s get serious here: he’s nothing more than a return guy. Granted he’s the best around, maybe ever, but so was Dante Hall a few years ago. Remember that guy? The Human Joystick? He was absolutely dominant and now he’s not even an afterthought anymore. Hester has only been going for 2 years and now he’s holding out and getting a ton of guaranteed money? Sounds like a terrible idea to me.

--Blah, blah, blah. Something about Brett Favre. Blah, blah, blah.

--When we look back on it, there’s a pretty good chance that Josh Childress and Brandon Jennings are going to be pioneers of the new NBA. Europe is going to play a huge role in the future of the League, especially for economically challenged high school seniors and lower tier pros (end of the bench guys). If Childress and Jennings have any sort of success, or especially if they parlay their European vacations into lucrative NBA contracts, this kind of thing will become a trend, not an anomaly.

--The AL Central is going to be a tight, three way dance for the last two months. And the Twins have a very favorable in-division schedule the rest of the way out too. I’m just saying…



--Marcus Camby going to the Clippers will prove to be the most underrated move of the NBA offseason. With a core of Kaman-Camby-Thorton-Davis, LA will make the playoffs next year.

--As great of a story as they have been, the Rays remind me a lot of the 2001 Twins: a team that was the surprise, feel-good story of the first part of the season, only to fade down the stretch in August and September. That AL East division is just too tough for an upstart team like Tampa to win, especially when Boston and New York can go out and get any player they want via trade or free agency.



--Has one man caused more stress, unhappiness, unrest, etc. than Drew Rosehaus? Every NFL client he gets immediately hates his contract and thus causes major headache’s for their current team. If ever there was a reason for collusion, it’s this guy.

--The Twins continue to shop for a 3 bagger despite Brian Buscher’s .333 average and 26 RBI in 30 games. I wonder what he did to get in Gardenhire’s dog house? How is he still losing playing time to Brendan Harris and Hey-Didn’t-You-Use-To-Be-Mike-Lamb?

--Before you complain too much about the Vikings’ QB “situation”, keep in mind that the Bears had a coin flip to determine whether Rex “Sex Cannon” Grossman or Kyle “Neck Beard” Orton would take the snaps with the first team offense during training camp. Think about how ridiculous that is…

--Michael Redd and Tayshun Prince will be the keys to Team USA winning gold in Beijing. If they can shoot and play tough perimeter D, this should be a cakewalk for the Americans.



--I like golf; I play golf; I watch golf; I even play fantasy golf. That said, without Tiger Woods, the PGA Tour sucks. No athlete in the history of sports has ever been or will ever be this important to their sport. It’s really incredible to think about the effect he has.

Read More......

The Trade Deadline Approaches...

As the Twins returned from the All Star break, they continued their brilliant play of late by taking 2 of 3 from the Rangers (and in the process shutting down one of the best offenses in baseball—Texas’ 4 All Star hitters combined to go 5-40 in the series). Besides the great baseball that the team has been playing, there have been two major subplots revolving around our club: the Francisco Liriano situation (that post will be coming later this week) and the trade deadline.

Major League Baseball’s non-waiver trade deadline comes on July 31st. Some teams in the hunt for the postseason have already made moves to try and better position themselves for a playoff run. This is especially true in the National League, where the Cubs (Rich Harden), Brewers (CC Sabathia and Twins-killer Ray Durham), and Phillies (Joe Blanton) have all made huge splashes by acquired some of the top pitchers in the market. It seems like only a matter of time before some of the big guns in the American League (Yankees, Red Sox, White Sox, and Twins) do the same thing to better their teams for the stretch run. So what are the Minnesota Twins going to do?



The big rumor over the last couple weeks has been that we should be/are going after Adrian Beltre, the third baseman from the Seattle Mariners. I dislike this idea for a number of reasons. First, this rumor is based on the assumption that we have a pressing need at third base. I’d say that we have a solid three bag prospect in Brian Buscher (5 hits in the Rangers series including a homerun, by the way), but for some reason Ron refuses to play him on a regular basis. Gardy somehow thinks that playing Brendan Harris, whose batting average is hovering in the .250’s, at third is a great idea because he’s a little bit better than Buscher (hitting in the .330’s) defensively—despite the fact that Buscher has looked solid at the hot corner most of the time. Oh, and Brian is left handed. This is a considerable handicap in Ron Gardenhire’s world. Unless your name is Joe Mauer or Justin Morneau, there’s no possible way that a left handed hitter can have success against a lefty pitcher. It’s simply not possible (this is a direct result of him coming from the Tom Kelly School of Coaching).

The second reason I don’t like this trade is because of what we might potentially have to give up. I’ve read recently that it might take one of our young starters (Baker, Blackburn, Slowey, or Perkins) to make this deal work. Are you kidding me? We’re going to trade away a starting pitcher in his 20’s who is just starting to come into his own for Adrian Freaking Beltre? If Bill Smith is half the man I think he is, then he’ll realize that this is a terrible idea. *Side contradictory note: if we trade the guy we perceive to be the weakest of the four, Slowey in my opinion, then that would open up a rotation spot for the Franchise and thus diffuse that situation altogether.



Finally, we’re talking about Adrian Beltre here. This guy parlayed one completely out of character, possibly steroid influenced, 48 homerun season (he hasn’t hit as many as 30 in a year since) into a monster, unwarranted contract. He’s the same guy who has hit over .300 only once in his career (guess what year that was?). He has been widely unproductive in Seattle; consistently hitting in the .260’s with 150 more strikeouts than RBI during his time in the Great Northwest. Plus, he signed with the Dodgers at a very young age, which history and Miguel Tejada has shown us could mean that he’s 29 years old, as his “birth date” would suggest. Or he could be 35—who knows? Oh and there is that tiny little fact that they seem quite willing to get rid of him…



If you believe that the Twins need to make a move to help their playoff chances, and I do, then the move to make is to acquire some bullpen help. Without the services of Pat Neshek, there has been a big hole in the pen in terms of getting the ball to Joe Nathan. Guys like Brian Bass and Boof Bonser have been incredibly terrible, while guys like Matt Guerrier and Jesse Crain are good only on occasion. Having a dominant, shut down bullpen has been a signature of all good Twins teams over the past 6-8 years. It would be even more crucial to this year’s team because of the inexperience in the starting staff. Much to my surprise, my arch nemesis Ron Gardenhire actually agrees with me. In the Pioneer Press today, Gardy says, “If they could get somebody that can really help us at the end of the game, to set up, to take the place of Neshek, that would be really great.” For the first time in a long time, I think Ron and I are on the same page. /Shudders/

In one of the first ever posts on this site last summer, I lobbied hard for the Twins to acquire a bat to spark some life into their beleaguered offense—namely, Dimitri Young. I still think that was the right move. Can you imagine how dominant our lineup would be this year if Young was in the DH spot instead of the Kubel/Monroe platoon? Plus, Morneau might actually be able to get a day off every once in a while. But I digress. This year, I am once again campaigning for a new addition to the Twins: Brian Fuentes of the Colorado Rockies.



The guy has been a very good closer for Colorado (though he did briefly lose his job last year) and I think he would flourish as our 8th inning setup guy. I’ve been hearing a lot of talk on Baseball Tonight about how he could be available; though I have no idea what kind of package it might take to get him here. Acquiring him would mean that our starters would only need to pitch 6 innings and then they could hand the ball over to a Guerrier-Fuentes-Nathan trio to end the game. That would be very tough come September and October.

Realistically, however, most Twins fans know by now that one of two things will happen at the trade deadline. Either the team will stand pat and not make a move because they are unwilling to put together a solid package or deal prospects, or we will trade for some fringe Major League pitcher that no one has heard of (someone in the Craig Breslow mold). Then the blogs (like this one), sports radio shows, etc. will be all over the organization for not making an impact move. Until we make the playoffs, that is…

Read More......

LVP...LVP...LVP...

You know who sucks? Dan Uggla. The following is the Marlins' second baseman's line from Tuesday night's All-Star Game:

0-4, 3 K, 1 GIDP, 3 E

Yuck. Way to step up on the big stage, Hank.

Read More......