Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Make the Move!

My new best friend has surfaced recently and I haven’t even met the coyote. His name is Brian Buscher. I’m going to call him Double B’s. He is the third baseman for the Twins Triple AAA organization. Once Double B’s gets called up to the show (which he will or should) Chris Berman will probably give him a forced nickname like Brian “Buscher Whacker” or something along those lines.

I’m that confident in the young man, actually I’m not, but he’s a glimpse of hope for our third base woes right now. He’s batting .333 with five bombs & 16 RBI’s in the 25 games since he’s been called up from Double AA. With Matt “bust” Moses providing nothing, it’s time for Mr. Potato Head Terry Ryan to make the move! This might seem like a bit of an over reaction, but I have three reasons why: first, that little, pesky, Oompa Loompa-looking Nicky Punto has like eight hits all year. Check the stats; it’s embarrassing. He needs to be replaced. They were relatively quick to pull the trigger with Ponson and Ortiz, so he needs to be moved to our top utility guy. Secondly, in last night's game one of our 12 future Hall of Fame young pitchers Matt “Garza Strip” (sorry, I couldn’t resist, Berman is on my mind) pitches seven innings with no earned runs, but somehow we can’t get even one run against an average pitcher. We need an offensive shot in the arm…like right now! Lastly, as random call-ups like Jack Cust of the Oakland A’s have proved, rolling the dice with a hot bat in the minors can sometimes work out. What do we have to lose? We’re seven back. Sooooooo, welcome to the Twin Cities Double B’s (I hope!).

P.S. This guy named Q is actually supposed to move into my house in a couple weeks, but screw him. I have an empty room available at my pad if you want to bunk up until you get your feet wet. He’ll understand, I promise.


Tank said...

I'm watching the Twins game right now ready to shit my fucking pants. This lineup is dogshit. I've had enough of it. Bring somebody up, buy an average bat. This is getting old.

Mr. Cue said...

Eff it. I'm on the bandwagon. Bring this cat up tomorrow. Send Jones down. Oh, and if he hits well, I'll personally weld together bunk beds for me and my new "bedroom buddy" to share.

And to further your point about Moses: he is currently sporting a strike out to walk ratio of over 10 to 1 (42 K's to 4 BB's). Cut him.