Voices from a Stranger

You guys know the drill now. This entry comes from someone else besides us three pimps. If you'd like to write a guest column contact us in anyway you know. The email address to the right works also. This entry comes from the fella that gave us our first "Voices from a Stranger" piece. Along the same lines as that one, he's back for another mock draft. This guy is known for his big personality and his salmon colored hoodie that he wears non-stop. Enjoy...


All right, I’m back with another look at the NFL Draft. This is my first full round mock I’ve ever done, so you’ll have to bear with me. Obviously I’m not chewing on game film or scouting these players like the pros so most of what I am going off is what I have read in mock drafts and what I’ve seen as NFL team needs. So I’ll be the first to admit I looked at a ton of mocks to come up with this one, but with that said, I hope I offer a little insight to the draft, my top #5 favorite sports day of the year. It’s up there with opening day baseball, opening NFL Sunday, March Madness and College Football National Championship.

1. Miami – Chirs Long DE Virginia
Well this is not an easy choice at #1 and I could see Miami going several different ways. I originally thought they would go with Jake Long here but now that the Big Tuna is in town it looks like they are going defense. I am not as high on Glenn Dorsey as everyone else seems to be and I think getting a difference maker on the edge who played in a 3-4 in college is going to be too hard to pass up for the old man. With that being said I could see several people trading up to this spot to try to land either Matt Ryan or Darren McFadden.

2. St. Louis Rams – Jake Long OT Michigan
They just gave a pile of money to Marc Bulger so I doubt they go QB here, even though they probably should. They can’t take McFadden with Steven Jackson there so they either trade down and pick up an OT later in a deep OT draft or they take the best one available here. Orlando Pace is 53 years old and they can’t pass up an anchor like Jake Long. This guy’s going to be a stud and I’m a huge fan of drafting OT’s early. They usually work out.

3. Atlanta Falcons – Matt Ryan QB Boston College
The next three teams; Falcons, Raiders and Chiefs will decide draft order by a coin toss. But I’ll use this format as most mocks I’ve read have used this order. I think the Falcons have to go QB. They have to figure Vick is done and done, and Joey Harrington or Byron Leftwich are not the answer. I think Ryan is the top QB in this draft and maybe the second best overall prospect behind McFadden. I think he’s a good fit in Atlanta and will give them a solid QB going forward. I don’t know if “Matty Ice” goes this high, but I think it’s a good fit.


4. Oakland Raiders – Darren McFadden RB Arkansas
I know Justin Fargas is a big sleeper in next years’ fantasy drafts, but if I’m Al Davis I’m not putting the future of my franchise in his hands. They signed the big time QB last year, and why not start by surrounding him with a stud RB. Lots of rumors about Jerry Jones trading up to get his boy McFadden but it’s hard to predict trades. I think the Raiders do themselves a favor and keep the pick and take possibly the best player in the draft.

5. Kansas City Chiefs – Glenn Dorsey DT LSU
I’ve seen a lot of mocks having Kansas City taking offensive line and I see that as a real possibility. That would help LJ immediately fantasy wise, but turns out NFL teams don’t draft guys to improve other people’s fantasy value. I know it’s weird but it’s just the way it is. This team is so far from contention they don’t need to draft based on need because the needs are all over the board. They can take the best player available and Dorsey is that. Plus he’s a good foundation to rebuilding a defense.

6. N.Y. Jets – Calais Campbell DE Miami
The Jets could go a variety of directions including QB or RB if for some reason McFadden or Ryan are still there. I could see Brohm or Woodson here if they aren’t sold on Clemens, but I think they go DE, another major need. A lot of mocks have Vernon Gholston going here and I don’t think that’s too outrageous. But every year someone shoots up draft boards and I am predicting that’s Campbell. The dude is 6’8” 280 lbs and might run in the 4.7’s. I think he’s the real deal and if he drops like some predict I hope he ends up in purple. He had a “bad junior year” But if 12.5 tackles for loss and 6 sacks is bad, I’ll take him. The guy is a beast.

7. N.E. Patriots – Kenny Phillips S Miami
The damn 18-1 Patriots get the seventh pick in the draft. That’s ridiculous. Conventional wisdom says they trade this pick to stock pile a bunch of lower round picks, but once again we aren’t predicting trades. So I have them taking a stud safety because Harrison is getting old and without HGH how long will he last?

Once again I see Phillips dropping on some boards and this is the #1 guy I would like to see in purple but I don’t think we’ll be that lucky.

8. Baltimore Ravens – Brian Brohm QB Louisville
The Kyle Boller experiment has to be officially over, doesn’t’ it? And I think Brohm is going to be a legit NFL QB. A lot of comparisons of Brohm say he is the next Jim Kelly. I think if the Ravens got that they would blow a load as big as Dogg does when he watches the “Girls Gone Wild” commercials. This team is desperate for a QB and I think they gamble on Brohm or Woodson.

9. Cincinnati Bengals – Sedrick Ellis DT USC
I’ve seen Ellis going as high as #1 to Miami in some mocks so at #9 he has great value. Cinci’s D is bad folks, real fucking bad. They need help, everywhere. I think Ellis starts in a good spot: The middle.

10. New Orleans Saints – Mike Jenkins CB South Florida
There is no way the Saints should be drafting this high. They are too good of a team. But they need help bad in the secondary. I know they weren’t too happy with the Jason Craft signing out of Indy as he got torched real bad on national TV. So I think they need to go CB. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know much about any of the top CB’s in this draft. They project Jenkins, Aqib Talib, and Leodis McKelvin as the top 3 CB’s. Who the hell are those three? I say whoever emerges at the top goes here.

11. Buffalo Bills – Limas Sweed WR Texas
In my opinion this might be the steal of the draft (and he probably won’t go this high, he could go much lower). I think Sweed is a top 5 talent and is going to be a stud receiver in the Braylon Edwards Mold. He’s big strong and fast. I like him a lot and I think he shoots up draft boards as well.


12. Denver Broncos – Vernon Gholston DE Ohio State
The Broncos can’t do much of anything on defense lately and I think they need help all over. Gholston is a strong DE that comes off the edge well, but could also play OLB if needed. I think he would be perfect in Denver. There biggest need is probably OL but they like to find smaller quicker guys later in drafts and they do quite well with that. I see them going DL here.

13. Carolina Panthers – Sam Baker OT USC
Another team that needs a lot of help. I think they’d be better off starting to rebuild instead of trying to ride this team to mediocrity, but I’m afraid that’s the direction there headed. I think John Fox wants to win now (and probably has to, to keep his job) so he’ll draft someone who can help them immediately. I think Baker will grade higher than Ryan Clady after the combine and I think he’s the guy here. Clady is big and unpolished, Baker isn’t quite as big but he is smart and polished. Once again I think it’s hard to pass up a big OT in the first round, they usually make you better immediately.

14. Chicago Bears – Andre Woodson QB Kentucky
If the Bears don’t go QB I think that will shock a lot of people. They need some hope there and I think Woodson’s big time arm will give them a little hope. Unless the Bears see something in Rex Grossman that even my little fucking sister can’t see. How can Rex Grossman not be done?


15. Detroit Lions – Ryan Clady OT Boise State
Jon Kitna ran for his life all season. Not that I think Jon Kitna is good but he could probably be better if he had more than a second and a half to make a decision. I think OL is imperative to the Lions this year and whether they address it through free agency or the draft they’ll do something. Clady is a big kid out of Boise State and can play both tackle positions. That’s always a plus.

16. Arizona Cardinals – Kentwan Balmer DT North Carolina
A lot of people have Jonathon Stewart going here, but this is a fairly decent running back draft in the second to third rounds and I think they’ll wait on a RB. Balmer is projected high and is another hole clogger in the middle. Arizona is loaded on offense but needs to get better on D to get to that next level. I think they’ll gamble on keeping Edge at least one more year and remember they just blew a pick on J.J. “I’m better than Reggie Bush” Arrington. Teams don’t like to admit mistakes that fast and I think they’ll steer from RB with this pick.

17. Minnesota Vikings – Reggie Smith CB/S Oklahoma
This pick was the most fun and probably the hardest for me to make. Wow, this year’s draft is wide open for the Vikings. I know they need a receiver bad, but I don’t think they can afford to take one in the first round and wait 3 years for them to develop and besides Sweed, I wouldn’t want any other receiver here. I think DE is a possibility but our line is decent and getting better. I don’t mind the rotation of Scott, Udeze, James, Edwards and Robison. You could do worst. The linebackers are average but there isn’t a difference maker in this draft at that position. The OL could use some help but it came around nicely at the end of the year. That leaves the secondary and I think that’s the route we go. I would love to see the Miami safety Kenny Phillips fall to us but I doubt that happens.

We could go corner, but I think they like the Winfield, Griffin and McCauley rotation. Although I am sure they try to pick up one more for depth either in free agency or the first three rounds of the draft. With that being said, I am going Reggie Smith out of Oklahoma. He played safety early on in college and then moved to CB this year. He is big and physical and our secondary could use that. Is he the perfect draft pick? No, but I think he’ll be pretty damn good.

18. Houston Texans – Aqib Talib CB Kansas
Texans need help in the secondary. I have no idea who this Talib guy is but if he rates out where they say he is going to I could see the Texans taking him or another top CB here. RB is also a strong possibility unless they fell in love with Ron “I have a Heisman” Dayne this year. But between you and I, I doubt that happened.

19. Philadelphia Eagles – Malcom Kelly WR Oklahoma
Here is the start of a run on receivers this round. It is actually a pretty good receiver draft at the top. There isn’t the top 5 name like usual but a lot of good late first round receivers. Kelly is 6’4”, 217 pounds and fast. I think he fits perfect for the Eagles and could give them the receiver they have missed dearly since T.O. peaced out.

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – DeSean Jackson WR California
If the Vikings take this guy, I might just quit being an NFL fan. Yes he has blazing speed. Yes he might be a game changer in the Ted Ginn mold. (I don’t think Ginn will change many games at the NFL level though either) But if the Vikes draft a 165 lb blazer, I will be pissed. However, Tampa needs receiving help and return help. I like him to Tampa and think Gruden might take the gamble.

21. Washington Redskins – Mario Manningham WR Michigan
This is another guy like Sweed who could be very good at the next level, he is not ultra big but he plays bigger than the 6’0” that he is. Hell they signed Keenan McCardell last year. When their top two wideouts are 5’3” Santana Moss and 5’2” Randle-El they’re in trouble. I think Manningham gives them that across the middle compliment to the speedy outside receivers and Chris Cooley. I like what Manningham can bring to this team. Plus he has produced. He had 27 receiving TD’s in his three years at Michigan.


22. Dallas Cowboys – Leodis McKelvin CB Troy
This is an overrated secondary. Roy Williams can’t cover the pass and Terrance Newman is overrated as well. Anthony Henry is going to be a safety real soon so why not get depth at Corner? Once again zero clue who this guy is but I think the Cowboys go secondary or RB with this pick.

23. Pittsburgh Steelers – Jeff Otah OT Pittsburgh
The Steelers love maulers in their OL and that’s what this kid is. He would fit right in at RT and help them immediately.

24. Tennessee Titans – Keith Rivers OLB USC
So with Lauranitis staying in school it took this long to get a LB off the board. Rivers is quick and does have Derrick Brooks like tendencies, but he isn’t quite as good. With a great workout he could shoot up the draft board, but I like him to Tennessee here. The Titans also need help at CB since they all but said “no more Pacman.” The surprise is it took them this long to figure out he isn’t good for their team. Maybe the Raiders would be a good fit? Just saying.

25. Seattle Seahawks – Jonathon Stewart RB Oregon
Shaun Alexander turns 62 next week and hasn’t ran the same since he got off the ‘roids after the 05 season. I’ve always hated that fucker by the way. I have no reason, just always have. I think the Seahawks realize it’s over with him and would love to land Stewart with this pick. He should be good and with running backs they can make an immediate impact. The guy is big and fast, think Jamal Lewis.

26. Jacksonville Jaguars – Derrick Harvey DE Florida
Lots of mocks have him going to the Vikes but I think he drops a bit. His production was good but not great and he’ll grade out good but not awesome. I think he’d be a good fit on that Jacksonville line and give them a speed rush off the edge that could make them very dangerous.

27. San Diego Chargers – Phillip Merling DE Clemson
This kid is a big kid who could be a force at the next level. He can rush the passer but also help against the run. A great DE/DT type in the 3-4. Let Merriman rush the edge and this kid hold is ground on the end. Would be a good fit for the Chargers.

28. Dallas Cowboys – Felix Jones RB Arkansas
Jerry Jones has been very public that he wants McFadden bad. He loves the Razorbacks and I think he loses out on McFadden but he’ll take second best in Felix Jones. Another non starting RB who could go in the first round, almost a Ronnie Brown/Cadillac Williams situation. It will be interesting. A lot of mocks have the Cowboys taking a RB but I think they might be sold on that kid from Wayzata. We’ll see. Big time fantasy implications if they take a RB here.


29. San Francisco 49ers – James Hardy WR Indiana
D-Jack didn’t provide much help and Vernon Davis has disappointed. They need to give Smith something to throw to and Hardy gives them big time talent there. Kid’s been in a little trouble but the queers in San Fran should keep him in check.

30. Green Bay Packers – John Carlson TE Notre Dame
This is definitely a homer pick. I’ll come out and say it right now. You’ll probably see Fred Davis out of USC go ahead of Carlson, but I think Carlson has the tools to be an NFL tight end. The Packers love their big white boys and Carlson would give them another one to love. It would be bittersweet seeing him go to the pack. I love Minnesota players going in round 1 but it would kill me to see him in green and gold.

31. New England Patriots – Forfeited, Dipshits.

32. New York Giants – Dan Connor LB Penn State
The Superbowl champions could use some help on D and I am not crazy over Connor but he’s from linebacker U and projects to be decent at the next level. The Giants are weak at LB and he could fit in nicely there.

Out,
The Bag