Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Under Review: Week 12

Week 12 NFL questions for you nerds.

Are the Vikings coming? Meaning, are they coming into the playoff picture? Do they have shot? Or not?

Q: Um, maybe? (That's the best I can do. This team and this season has made no sense to me whatsoever, so I'm done pretending I know what's going on. I'm going with the definite maybe when it comes to the postseason. That way, we could win out, lose out, or some combination in between and I am right about the Vikes for the first time all year.)

Dogg: I still don't believe in this team because we have showed signs of being a terrible team several weeks this season. If we fall behind in any game you can basically kiss it goodbye because I don't see T Jax ever sitting in the pocket for an entire half or even quarter completing passes. AP is coming back but how effective will he be? I say 8-8, which means we would need serious help to make the postseason.

Fuzz: Put it this way: If the Giants don’t have a complete collapse, you’ll have about 5-6 teams competing for the last playoff spot. You have better odds at Treasure Island casino (I hate those commercials by the way.) Still though, why not us? Fans here seem quick to disregard us when they hear how many teams are fighting for one spot. It’s like an automatic response: “Six teams for one spot? No way in hell it’s us.” I ask, why not us? AP, lock down defense, favorable schedule, the fattest O-Line and momentum all factor into my optimism.

Devin Hester, best playmaker in the NFL? If not, who is? Also, is Hester the best return man ever?

Dogg: The best special teamer is not even a debate anymore because this guy is not human when it comes to returning kicks and punts. I know they've lined him up at WR at times but the only time he's done anything is against the dreaded pass defense of the Vikings so I don't know if that's because he can't get open or the fact that they have post-drunk Joe Kane trying to get him the football. Either way they better get him some more touches if they want to keep their postseason chances alive.

Fuzz: Best playmaker is a little strong but he's changed many games in his young career. Randy Moss, T.O., Shawn Merriam, AP and plenty others are just as good as him for a playmaker. I’d say he’s easily the best return man ever. He’s like two years into this and has over 10 returns for touchdowns on punts and kick-offs. It’s absurd. Surprisingly this hasn’t happened yet but he’s going to get the Barry Bonds treatment. Bonds gets walked more than any one in the league. Teams rarely give him the opportunity to beat them. Hester will get the same formula. Teams might simply have to kick it out of bounds on purpose and take the hit. Kickers will now find creative ways to give him no opportunity. What a draft pick by the Bears!

Q: By far the best return man ever (my apologies to Dante Hall, Mel Gray, and Vai Sikahema).

Denver and Kansas City’s third string running backs ran wild this past Sunday. Does this mean anything to you guys when third stringers once giving the opportunity are putting up nice numbers? Is there a point in having that premier runner?

Q: It means nothing if they play for the Broncos. That place is a factory; always has been under Shanahan, always will be. Take a look at the running backs that have had very good either full or partial seasons in Denver under Mad Mike: Travis Henry, Selvin Young, Andre Hall, Mike Bell, Tatum Bell, Mike Anderson, Ron Dayne, Reuben Droughns, Quentin Griffin, Clinton Portis, Olandis Gary, Terrell Davis, Vaughn Hebron, and Aaron Craver. Quite the "Who's Who" of Who's That? right there. Oh, and I could care less about Kolby Smith too. I could run for 80 yards and a score against Oakland's D.

(Kolby Smith)

Dogg: RB's are a dime a dozen these days. Do you not think Maurice Morris would've had great stats all these years Shaun Alexander was tearing up the league? Of course he would've. There are so many great athletes out there these days that sure it takes time to get use to running the ball 20-25 times a game but once that's established there are many guys in this league that can succeed in the NFL. Ryan Grant? Who? The guy played every collegiate game on national television for Notre Dame and John Clayton doesn't even know who he is. It's nice to have guys like LT but those type of runners are once a decade so if I was an owner I would not draft RB's unless you thought you had the next big thing.

Fuzz: I’m more on Dogg’s angle with this question. I find it incredible that the players like he mentioned (Kolby Smith, Andre Hall, Ryan Grant, etc…) are putting up 100+ rushing games on first string defenses. It proves to me that the NFL is so rich with talent (an exception being the QB position.) This is a far cry from MLB. The Minnesota Twins currently play tricky Nicky Punto and pussy Jason Tyner in key games. They both are horseshit. MLB teams are putting in unproductive guys in their lineup all the time. NFL teams pluck borderline practice squad coyote’s into starting roles and they flourish. You wonder why the NFL is so popular? Because the product is so damn good.

Did Philly’s game plan against the Patriots expose the Patriots at all? Is that undefeated season now a little bit harder to attain for them? Are you guys convinced they will win out?

Fuzz: Personally, I think they were exposed. The middle of the field was wide open and A.J. Feeley had all day to pass. It’s going to take a great game to beat these punks. (I’m officially off the Patriots need to go undefeated because I’m sick of the old timers in Miami celebrating story. These guys are so frickin cocky. Bill and his childproof cut-off has the look like he’s better than you. I’m rooting for the other team every time now. Seriously, fuck these guys.) Anyways, a protected accurate passer can carve that defense up. Unfortunately they’ve already played the teams that can beat them. Dallas and Indy were the only two in my mind. If they end up playing again, I believe those two teams can beat them. New England just took first blood off both of them but hopefully one of them gets revenge in the playoffs because I’m sick of this effing team.

Dogg: What was Philly's game plan? Honestly these analysts are saying the key is to get pressure on Brady like Philly did but are they really the only team that has tried this? I think a lot of teams have but if New England's great offensive line picks up the blitz you can put 7 on the board because a double team isn't going to stop Randy. There is no stopping this team and I do think they win out in the regular season. I still have a bias for Manning and the Colts so I say they go into New England and beat them in the AFC championship game.

Q: I think a lot of teams knew that if you put pressure on Tom Brady that you'd have an outside chance of slowing down their scoring train. But that's easier said than done. I'm sure other teams have tried and failed to do the same thing. The difference is that Jim Johnson (Philly's D Coordinator) is much better at creating and disguising blitz packages than anyone else in the league. And I'm definitely not sold on the Patriots winning out. As I'm sure you remember, way back at the start of the year I predicted that the winning streak would end Week 13 in Baltimore. Well guess what next week is? You bet.

Chad Johnson displayed another one of his touchdown celebrations grabbing a camera and fake working it. What is your favorite end zone dance ever? Also, if you can think of one, what celebration would you do if you personally got in the end zone?

Dogg: Merton Hanks and Deion Sanders are two of my favorites of all-time. There are lots out there but these two guys did it right because it was their own dance and they never did anything but those dances. You had "Primetime" from Deion and the "Funky Chicken" from Merton Hanks.

If there was a celebration and this just might be my favorite even over the previous two mentioned is Dante Hall's "X-Factor". How cool from a guy who is basically just a special teamer? Anybody who can claim themselves "X-Factor" as a PR and KR is just that talented.

Fuzz: Two ones that I liked the best were the Bob N’ Weave from the Rams and the Sharpie trick by Terrell Owens. The Bob N’ Weave was cool because it involved more than one guy. 4-5 guys doing a little dance together. The Sharpie thing was awesome because T.O. actually carried a marker in his socks while playing. Who does that? He’s pure crazy.

My personal end zone dance would be out of the Varsity Blues movie. I would chuck the ball has hard as I could at the mascot. How cool would it be if you actually connected to one of those tools and knocked them on their ass?

Q: Wow, three part question. 1) Ocho Cinco's TV camera thing was easily his lamest attempt ever. He shouldn't have even been penalized because that can't even be considered a "celebration". 2) With all due respect to Billy "White Shoes" Johnson, Ickey Woods, and Jamal Anderson, the best TD celebration came from the movie "The Replacements" (note: it may have come from somewhere else, but this is where I remember it from). Throw the football up in the air like it's a bomb, plug your ears, and when it lands everyone on the field falls down. If you're going to get a 15 yard penalty, you may as well get everyone involved, especially big, fat linemen who are 30+ yards behind the play. 3) That depends on if it was a home or away game. At home, I'd go with the "throw the ball as deep into the stands as I can" move. Give some lucky fan a souvenir. On the road, I'd replicate Randy Moss' fake mooning of the crowd if for no other reason than to see if Joe Buck's head might explode.

I might even bare a little cheek just to make sure that he had a stroke.


Mr. Cue said...

I had to address this right away because Fuzz brought up one of my favorite all time celebrations--the TO/Sharpie thing. The greatest part of that whole thing was that Owens signed the ball and then gave it to Shawn Springs agent. Yes, the same Shawn Springs that he had just beaten for the touchdown. It always amazed me that more wasn't made out of that fact. Classic.

Dogg said...

Q, great Vai Sikahema reference and Fuzz you couldn't be right about those Treasure Island resort and casino commercials. Worst commercials ever and they've been played for 88 years.

Buddha said...

Why don't you guys just sit and talk in your living room rather than put this Sh!t on the internet?? JK..I love TK on Toast! I've always wanted to get inside of Dogg's mind - and now I've found my avenue.

Dogg said...

To Buddha: We sit and talk in our living room and then we usually write about it with some more in depth analysis. You could never get inside my mind Buddha so give it up. I will own you.